Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I know a guy, who is a friend of a friend, he is married for many years, I am sure his wife knows he cheats, there is no way she could not, in my opinion. I honestly think she won't divorce him out of pure spite (or maybe she has her own man on the side). For me, the whole marriage is a sham but thats a story for another blog. Either way, in addition to having produced an outside child during the marriage, he has exactly THREE count 'em, THREE, long-term outside chicks that he has dealt with for YEARS. He spends 1 or 2 days a week with each one of these ladies, including overnight stays. He sees them all consistently enough for them to all be deluded into the idea that they are in a real relationship with him. I have personally met two of the women at social gatherings. He even goes to church pretty consistently (every other Sunday) with one of them ! Many times either one of these women is getting the short end of the time spent, but the most important detail is ,THEY ALL KNOW HE IS MARRIED BUT DO NOT KNOW THE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS EXIST. He has come close to getting busted on many occasions, not by the wife, but by one of the girlfriends & he works hard to keep them unaware of one another. Why ? Because somehow if any of them found out about the other, they might want to end the relationship. WTF? They are cool with the fact he has a wife, but another sideline......Oh Hell no ! LOL How ignorant.
This reminds me of a very unpleasant memory from my past. I am divorced. My ex-husband got caught up infidelity while we were living apart temporarily due to his job transfer. He was in LA & I was in Houston. By the time I figured it out, he was in a full fledged affair, with a women who was convinced that he was going to divorce me and be with her. She knew that he was married. I had just recently found out about her and my ex had expressed to me that he intended to end it with her so that he could try and work things out with me. I was devastated but did not want to divorce and was willing to try and mend the marriage and prayed that he would remove her from the equation to give us a chance. I wasn't very surprised when I got a call from her at 5:00AM one morning from California. She took this opportunity to enlighten me as to all that had gone on between herself and my husband. The most interesting thing about the conversation was what had actually prompted her call to me on this particular day. She admitted that he had tried to break things off with her & told her he wanted to work things out with his wife, she admitted that she was hurt angry & upset, she admitted that she was stalking him, because he was no longer giving her access to him, and on this particular evening that she was calling me, she had followed my husband from his apartment & confronted him with a woman that she had assumed was ME only to be told that it was NOT me ! A whole lot of drama ensued to the point that the police had to be called. It was a mess ! He later actually called me and confirmed this whole event, even admitting that he was on a "date" LOL ! to try and paint her as a "crazy stalker chick". Either way, I found it interesting that she felt the need to call me and tell me that my husband was cheating on us! Because for sure that was her goal, to be sure that I knew all that he was doing to both of us! I. HAVE.NO.WORDS.
As the saying goes, "How you get your man, is how you lose him".
Why don't women understand that, cheaters do what cheaters do.........cheat ?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Breaking the Silence
That was what he wrote in the subject line of the email I got yesterday. The rest read as follows :
Dear Beautifully Complex,
I know I'm wrong but hear me out, I did enjoy our night together but I don't think, you were looking for the same thing as me. I'm not looking to settle down right now, I am looking to play a little first. I am kinda heavy into the swingers life style right now and I did not read that from you at all. If I was wrong please let me know !!
Wow ! Just wow! Did I dodge a bullet or what ? I promptly replied :
I appreciate your explanation, because honestly, I was very confused by your disappearing act. But as I explained to you and showed you, I don't pursue men who don't seem interested in me. I know that my profile states that I am looking for "long term" and "children" so I am not sure why you had any indication that I was open to that type of lifestyle, or why you would have approached me from the beginning, but I appreciate you letting me know the deal just the same. I have been divorced for over 3 years and have pretty much played as much as I need to & am trying to be true to who I am as a woman. So, no you did not read me wrong at all ! We are definitely looking for totally different things. I wish you success in your search for your hearts desire.
The truth really is stranger than fiction. I mean I could not make this stuff up ! Initially I told one of my friends that I figured that he must have lied about his status ( i. e, he was either married or separated) and figured out from our conversation on the date that it would not fly with me. Later, I just considered that he is single and dating & just encountered someone he was more interested in than me. But the idea that he is a swin.ger and looking to recruit me ! LOL You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I will never understand why people feel the need to fish in the wrong pond. I mean the internet is full of specialized websites to fit just about any niche that exists. This particular dating site has numerous parameters that you can set to determine whom you would like to date. The categories are almost endless. So why pursue someones profile who is completely opposite of what you are trying to do ? What happened to compatibility as a criteria ?Are men just that caught up in the challenge of changing your mind or trying to chop you down ? I am really curious as to what made him contact me after six weeks. I mean, I clearly moved on & he got absolutely no contact from me to indicate that I was even wondering what was up, I did a vanishing act myself after 2 unanswered calls which is customary for me when there is no reciprocity.
The last line killed me " If I was wrong please let me know " HA ! I guess this was his last ditch effort to pull me into this nonsense. Now that I am thinking about it, this fool probably contacted me again because he is not having any luck recruiting any other unsuspecting victims, so he's decided to use the direct approach, yeah just put it out there & see what she says ! LOL Oh well, at least I got a blog post out of it !
Have you ever met any real life swingers ? Ever been recruited or invited to participate ?
My closest friend lost her mother just two weeks ago, this has been a very challenging time. I have been as supportive as possible but still feel so helpless. How do you comfort someone when they lose their mother, when she was the truest essence of that word ?
Speaking of mothers, I saw the movie "Precious" and was reminded of how much in this life so many people take for granted. All of what we have is through his Grace and Mercy. No question, we also have the power to change some things in our lives, but where you have to start from is not in our hands.
One of my high school classmates father passed away yesterday. He had a massive heart attack while jogging. He was one of my favorite teachers and a much loved coach at our school. I feel so numb.
My mother's doctor found some spots on her liver a few weeks ago, after many tests, lots of worry, fear and of course prayers, she has been given positive news. Thank you Lord.
It is really hard to realize that I am moving into the phase of life where my friends begin to lose their parents & mortality in general is in your face. Its the cycle of life, but still shakes me to think of it.
On to a lighter note, I will be home for an extended time for Thanksgiving and looking forward to spending time with my nieces, nephew and the rest of the family, counting my blessings with not enough fingers and toes to do so.
I was able to recruit even more family members to participate in the Turkey Trot again this year. I am trying my best to promote health and fitness & they are fighting me but still coming along although its begrudgingly :)
I met a guy about 6 weeks ago, we had a few really good conversations, a seemingly great first date (it lasted 4 hours), with a promise of another date in short order.........and then he vanished into thin air. No response to my calls or texts. I was puzzled for many days, then let it go. Yesterday he sent me an email with his explanation....it was interesting. I will blog about it tomorrow.
I have a good friend, whose step-son is gay. He just turned 17. She has known him since he was four years old when she started dating his dad & has been his stepmother for about 10 years. They have a very close relationship. It was obvious to me by the time he was nine or ten. I watch how he interacts with both of them & he is more comfortable around her and less so around his dad. He puts on a different persona when he is around his dad, but its still obvious to me. She says she has known since he was probably six, but it was confirmed for her when she saw some pictures on his m.ys.pace page a couple of years ago. His father is in total denial. He forced him to delete his profile, but still won't acknowledge the obvious. He is a "man's man". He thinks he can change his son by changing his behavior & will never accept it. My friend is in the middle. I feel sorry for each one of them. I wish I could help, but this is such a sensitive matter.
Comments ? Suggestions ? Whats going on random with you ?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I have been lea.rning more about wine for the last couple of years and have actually learned to enjoy it quite a bit. My favorites are whites, like Pino Grigio, Gewurztraminer, and Riesling. Most of my friends are on the bandwagon now, but I always enjoy taking someone to a new spot. There are numerous Wine Bars popping up all over Houston lately like, Cel.lar 17 and one owned by a young brother called 55 De.greez.
Today I will let you in on a few of my favorites in the Houston area. The first one is called Vinotropolis. Now I really like this place because the staff is extremely helpful and not at all pretentious like some places. I would recommend this place because the owners have tasted EVERY bottle on the shelf and have these little cards attached to the shelves that gives you a very specific & detailed explanation of the flavors and what the wine tastes like. This is very helpful for beginners. You can check their site out here.http://www.vintropolisbar.com/
Another really nice one is called Crush. Now its located in The Woodlands which is a really nice suburb just north of Houston, but don't that that deter you. This Wine Bar has two levels. My favorite spot is the roof top Patio which overlooks the waterway. Its really cool, especially at night and has lots of draped Gazebo's and reminds me of a place I went to in Miami several years ago. This is a nice place to take a date or a group of friends. Check it out !http://www.thecrushbar.com/gallery.php
Finally, my most favorite place in Houston, and a pretty well kept secret for a little while at least, is Son.oma Wine Bar & Boutique. This place is really cozy and intimate, they have a wonderful fireplace and you feel like you are sitting in someones well appointed living room. The wine of course is great but surprsingly the food is amazing too. They have expanded their menu quite a bit in the year and half I have been hanging out here. I had a wonderful party this past summer to celebrate my 40th Birthday & everyone really enjoyed the Wine and the food. I got so many compliments because so many people never even knew this place existed.You can check there site out too. Be sure to click on the photo gallery to see how they set it out ! http://www.sonomahouston.com/
I like to think of myself as an up an coming Wine Enthusiast, but my sister just calls me a "Win-o" LOL ! If you are ever in Houston, try to hit up one of these spots and I am sure you will enjoy it tremendously.
What are some cool spots for wine in your city ?
What is your favorite type of wine ?
How many glasses does it take for you to feel mellow ?
Monday, September 7, 2009
There is a line between guys who are master manipulators of women and guys who are just true gentlemen. Of course I have experienced the full spectrum and I have learned how to recognize the signs. The only way I can be affected by either is if I am actually attracted to you or interested in you first. It's easy for me to spot manipulators especially if you are not my type and you just don't pique my interest. I see the game coming from a mile away. It's also easy for me see a gentleman as well even if you don't appeal to me personally. If I am attracted, I am paying close attention to the most minor details and taking note.
Chris Rock has a sketch in one of his shows where he talks about men not being able to go backwards chexually & women not being able to go back in "lifestyle". It's pretty graphic the way he spells it out but if you can get past his crudeness, I think for many people this is true to a de.gree. I think I can handle the lifestyle part. Having gone through some things in my life personally, I have had to adjust to a change in lifestyle, i.e; div.orce equals one inc.ome vs. two and all that comes with that. My ex outearned me significantly, and I recognize that I may not find myself in a similar situation again, and truthfully I am OK with that because I maintain a lifestyle that I am happy with on my own. I do have some standards and expectations for a partner in that area, but clearly they are not necessarily straight in line with what I had before. Not that I wouldn't want that, it's just not a requirement.
What I have learned to focus more on these days is how a man treats me, specifically how chivalrous he is. I have experienced certain levels of treatment that I have come to expect. I will blog about the others later. Several things can set the stage early on for me but today we are going to talk about just one;
Consideration of anothers time.
For the record, I am known to be a little bit late alot of the time, my family and my closest friends know this about me. I am a bit of a procrastinator but I AM working on it & have improved ALOT. My family accepts it because my mother is waaay worse than me & always has been. They know that I really did get it honestly. I have a sister who got the same unfortunate trait & believe it or not, I am better about time than either of them. My close friends except it simply because, despite this trait, I am a pretty awesome friend ! LOL However, I am always prompt when dealing with people that I don't know well, in professional settings, and also in dating. So a guy who is just getting to know me has no idea, that I can have this tendency because afterall he doesn't really know me & has not spent alot of time with me, so it really bothers me when guys don't call me to say they are running late, or give me the opportunity to adjust what I am doing to accomodate the time change. I mean maybe I could have spent another 10 minutes on my hair if I had known right ?
Just yesterday, I was to have a movie date after church with a guy I have been on 3 previous dates with. As I reflect on this now, I am remembering that he was over 20 minutes late to our first date at a pool hall & did not call. I called him after 10 minutes to make sure I was at the right place because there were 2 similar places in the same vicinity & he was "just around the corner". Anyway, back to yesterday. We discussed some possible movies & I was supposed to get a return call from him in a "little bit" to confirm the show and time. What I got was a call over 4 hours later only to say that he had started to feel ill, had laid down to rest, then accidentally fell asleep & was just waking up. He had awakened to then realize he needed to call me to say that he was still "sick" & he would need a raincheck. How inconsiderate ! Of course he apologized profusely, saying he hoped that he didn't ruin my day or any other plans I may have had, blah, blah, blah ! Of course you ruined my day. Any other options I may have had had passed me by because I left Sunday open for you, but I digress. I guess after a couple of hours I realized that I was being stood up, which is why I didn't call him (pride). Anyway, after he made his excuses, me being the passive aggressive person that these men have led me to become, I simply stated, " I hope you feel better, get some rest. We will talk another time". NOT. I will not be making or receiving any more calls from this clown. I can honestly say that I was willing to try to get to know this guy a little bit better, since I am starting to feel like a " serial dater". There were a couple of things on our last date that kind of bothered me a bit, but after discussing with a couple of friends, I decided to just try to spend some more time getting to know him a little bit better, but after yesterday, I am just not sure I am interested anymore simply because of his lack of consideration of my time. Even if he was truly sick (which is doubtful) the presentation was just all wrong. Chivalry is still alive......right?
What is the proper protocol for cancelling a date ?
How important is the consideration of anothers time in dating ?
Should a gentleman's behavior be contingent on his level of interest or is a true gentleman always a gentleman ?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I always enjoy reading about her daily adventures, shenanigans and fun times. She has truly been an inspiration to me, and is such a helpful, wise and considerate young lady.
Hop on over to her spot http://babsinblogland.com/ & wish her the best !
Love ya Babs !
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I did decide nearing my milestone birthday this year, that I really wanted to take the focus off of one of my personal goals (to be married again one day) and spend more of my time enjoying the journey. I am trying to be mindful of what I attract based on what I myself project. There was a post this week over at Think Pretty Smart about compatibility. I am in total agreement with this & actually already had something very similar lined out in my dating profiles. I am looking for compatibility in five key areas; spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically & financially. I am continually working to improve myself in these areas but am already standing pretty solid where I am now & feel confident that I can attract what I project. I know it may be challenging though & I actually had a sort of spirited debate with a guy a couple of weeks ago while on a date no less. He basically told me that I was expecting too much. The funny thing is, I never specify to potential dates what my actual expectations are in these categories, because I have learned the hard way that some people will attempt to deceive you and try to stretch the facts of who they are to fit your expectations.I couldn't figure out how he thought that I was expecting too much when he didn't even know what my specific standards were. I suspect he already knew he had fallen short of the proverbial bar. The poor little hardhead didn't have a chance with me anyway primarily because he reeked of desperation (this wasn't obvious the night we initally met while I was at a restaurant with some friends). He's divorced for less than 2 years & hasn't had a relationship in that time & kept talking about how bad he wanted to be in a relationship & how he hates "dating" yet in our discussion, it came out that he hadn't done much dating at all. All of his "woe is me" & "I hate being alone" was driving me mad!! It was a total turn off. Guys who just want to be in a relationship & give me the impression that they can just "plug any willing participant in" turn me on my heels. I know men feel the same way about desperate women. Needless to say that was our first and last date. LOL ! Honestly, I do my best to not project much of the disappointment that I myself sometimes feel about being single. I know that I am single today because I haven't connected with the right one. There are a couple of willing participants that just are not a fit for me, so I can patiently wait. I actually think I do a pretty good job in that I stay positive MOST of the time & feel like I live a pretty full life regardless of my relationship status.
I know I have some issues, as most all people do. However, I don't feel flawed and definitely don't look at those who may have successful relationships and feel like I am less than them or anything like that just because it has not happened for me yet, because I know better than that.I have a healthy dose of self-esteem, but something that I have begun to notice is that too many random folks are overly concerned with my dating life. I am not exactly sure why (possibly because most all of my friends are married or in relationships). In over 3 years of being divorced I have been in a couple of short lived relationships, but the rest were just dates that didn't lead anywhere. When I run into friends, or talk to cousins on the phone, or get calls from people I don't talk to often, after we've covered the issues at hand, then comes the long pause & THEY ALWAYS ask "......so, are you seeing anybody special ? " I always give a polite reply but honestly all of the collective pressure that I am made to feel by well intentioned folks is starting to irritate me. I am truly trying to live a "single and satisfied life" but I think society questions whether that is truly possible.
How would you react or respond ?
What are you attracted to in a potential mate ?
What do you think you reflect or project from a dating standpoint ?
Do you believe that single people can ever be truly satisfied ?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I am feeling Fortunate to be 40 ! My life looks nothing like I thought it would, but I know many people who tell me the exact same thing, so with that I am going to embrace it for real this year.
My mommy and daddy love me to the ends of the earth. They think I am the end all to be all. I am proud that I make them proud. I know that is a blessing. God loves me even more. I am humbled by that.
Fac.ebook is keeping me from blogging, reading blogs, and keeping up with my regular reading. Fa.ceb.ook really is " Crackbook" !!
New Orle.ans and Es.sence was great, but I was too tired to even write about it (other than posting pics on that dang crackbook) ! I can't wait to take someone special back to N.OLA to do some things I missed doing.
My parents shipped my birthday gift and it arrived just before I went to pick them up today. It was exactly what I wanted. My daddy hooked it up. Now I can dock my i.pod and get my party on for real Friday night at my old school cook out !
I wish I could beat my momma at spades !!! Maybe she will let me win since it is my birthday we celebrating and all.........NOT !
My sister and brother-in-law and the littles ones are on the road to Houston right now. My nieces are so excited about celebrating my birthday ! I love them so much it makes me ache sometimes :)
A couple of people who I care deeply about hurt my feelings recently. I wish I could just write people off sometimes. It would be easier on me if I could actually.
I am feeling pretty good about the wines I selected for my Party Saturday night at the Wine Bar. The good thing is that if nobody else likes it, I get to bring it home and drink ALL OF IT ! LOL !!! I think I am turing into a "Wino" in my old age.
I have a nice surprise for my nieces since they are disappointed that they can't go to the "adult "party Saturday night. I know they will enjoy it. I can't wait to see their faces.
I lost 8 pounds for my birthday...that is way short of the 15 that I needed to lose. All that drinking in New Orleans did it ! LOL
Why are a couple of "strays" still calling me from Essence. Why is is hard to believe that I don't remember meeting you on Bourbon, after 2 Hurricanes, especially if you didn't call me the rest of the weekend !
I really pray that I can turn the corner this year on some emotional baggage that needs to be put away, for good. I am going to do my part and let Him do the rest.
My BFF is making her famous Mimosa's at my Brunch on Sunday.
My mama is making chicken and waffles. I am glad I can't fry chicken like my mama or I wouldn't have lost a single pound ! LOL
What is going on random with you ?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
|Make a Smilebox slideshow|
I had to come out of my self-imposed hiatus to recap the fabulous Houston Blogger Meetup we had last night. There were losts of laughs and the food and drinks were great. We planned to do it again very soon.
I waited for my blog friends at the bar at Pa.ppa.dea.ux enjoying a nice glass of Riesling and struck up a conversation with a very nice, handsome young man. He could not believe that I was actually meeting some women I had never met in person, so I had to break down the whole blogging thing. He was interested. We discussed travelling, online dating, and the Houston social scene. He was very gracious and I enjoyed chatting with him.
For dinner, I sat right across from Tyler who is amazingly even more handsome in person. I let him know that I am holding my nieces for him to mature a little bit more. He was very well mannered and extremely patient with all of the craziness going on around him. I was impressed but not surprised.
I wore my leopard sandals and matching headband in honor of our Hostess, the shoe queen, Serenity. She was wearing a beautful turquoise dress and her hair looked great. She was even more beautiful in person.
Serenity has some very cool friends who provided much comic relief and I have no more worries about our children in the public education system, they are in good hands ! LOL
I was posted up with the Fabulous Blog Wifey of Babs, Tiffany in Houston who is the "realest of the real" . We found out just how small the world is and I know there truly is less than "Si.x De.gree.s of S.eperation" LOL !
Thanks Tiffany for the pep talk and words of encouragement about my "situations and thangs". I just may re-think that 28 yr old we talked about :) I can at least get some blog fodder out of it if nothing else.
An Icey was a pleasant surprise, neither of us were expecting the other but I am so glad she came. She was extremely warm and funny.We are gonna have to try and find a 5k. I am motivated now !
Thanks Ladies for a wonderful time. We must do it again soon.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I must say I sat speechless for the first minute of this video ! LOL What struck me the most was that I could not understand a word of what they were saying in Korean but I still felt the Spirit, if you know what I mean. Honestly, I am really proud that positive aspects of black culture have such a world wide appeal.
What are your thoughts ?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I guess I was wondering why he didn't just find another church and become a "less active" participant and maybe my thoughts were showing on my face, because he then came back with the statement that ".... well, you know, I know some really bad people, living really foul lives that go to church every Sunday...." and " Everybody that goes to church is not a Christian, etc."
This has to be my all time worst excuse that people give for not going to church ! I mean in all of Houston, you can't find a church to attend that's not full of heathens ? LOL ! Furthermore, how is it that you let the person standing next to you in worship & what they do in their day to day life, dictate whether or not you want to be in the service to receive food for your own spirit ? I guess I was hoping he would just admit to backsliding and indicate that he planned to get back involved but just needed to make the commitment or something along those lines, but to put it on the other people in church ?! I don't get it.
Anyway this was a huge red flag for me for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I expect any man with real potential to be my husband to be in position spiritually to lead our household in this area. I am dating men in their late 30's & early 40's so I expect a certain amount of spiritual maturity at this point in their life, or at least the quest for it. I mean if you call yourself a Christian, what could you be waiting on at this point in life ? Also, I have a really close firsthand example of this issue because I have a very close friend who has been married for about 8 years now. Her husband did not go to church when they met. He was Baptist but hadn't been active since childhood. She is Catholic attends every Sunday, sings in the Choir too. While dating he attended sporadically with her but even then, it was not regular attendance on his part. She has admitted to me that even to this day, it is something that she really resents about him, especially on Sundays when she gets up, cooks breakfast, gets their child ready for church, and they go alone, leaving her husband to sleep in and watch sports, or whatever he has deemed more important than attending church with his family. I know as a Christian, you are supposed to witness and bring others into the body of Christ, but in my friends situation, he claims to be a Christian and to be saved, just makes excuses for not going to church. Every now & then, he will sense her anger about this, go with them for a Sunday or two, until she is not obviously angry about it, but then he just slips back into his normal pattern of not going. In the end, other things just have priority in his mind, in my opinion. That is why I would hope to meet someone who is already committed to their own spiritual position & practicing it in their life. I really don't want someone, specifically a man, to start going to church, just because he is dating me, because then I would think its about me and not his own personal spiritual growth. I really try to live a life of balance, spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally & financially. I have standards and expectations for myself in all of these areas & I look for potential mates that are compatible with ME in these same areas. After being married for 10 years and observing many other marriages, I just don't see how it can last long term when you are not compatible in some key areas.
How important is spirituality to you in dating ? Do you consider attending worship service regularly a part of spiritual growth ?
What are some of your most important areas or of compatibility ?
Have you ever compromised in any of these areas in a relationship ?
How did that work out ?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
It is really enjoyable to travel somewhere that is truly different than what you normally experience and this is definitely one of those trips. Everything here is smaller, especially the vehicles. The roadways are so narrow, the living spaces are small and quaint. It is really a reminder of how much Americans do in excess and how much more of everything we use and consume. All of the shopping areas, pubs, restaurants, are just on a smaller scale. Nothing here is supersized. Coming from Texas where we do everything big, this place just puts into perspective how differently so many people actually live. It is like I am travelling back in time somewhat to a simpler less complicated era. I have really begun to ponder on some ways that I can simplify my life when I return home. On Sunday, I went to church with my family and we rode the bikes to and from the service ! Picture me in a skirt and some boots on a bike it was fun and kind of surreal. It is a small church primarily for the Expat Community. It is a Protestant Church filled with people of all nationalities from numerous countries. It was a bit different from my normal worship experience but enjoyable just the same. It seemed very similar to Catholic services that I have attended with friends without all of the kneeling ! LOL. After church, I rode seperately to the market with my cousins daughter so that we could pick up some things to prepare dinner for her Mom for Mother's Day. She is only 9 years old, but very precocious and knows her way around this place like nobody's business ! Everything is very close though. You have everything you need in biking distance. Everything in the stores are obviously labeled in Dutch or sometimes French, but occasionally you will encounter people who speak a little English who can help you out. We were making Parmesean Chicken so we needed to locate grated cheese and of course breadcrumbs, now that was an experience, but we finally figured out what we needed after almost buying cornmeal ! LOL We left there and rode to the bakery and picked up a nice dessert and we were on our way. We came home and prepared a wonderful dinner that turned out pretty good. I let her do most of the actual work. I just supervised. Later that afternoon, we all rode the bikes to the beach of the North Sea. The weather was beautiful, there is a lovely boardwalk and then below there are several resturants and small bars on the beach with beach seating so you have an awesome view of the water. It was a little cool with the sea breeze but we warmed up after a few nice cocktails and just enjoyed the people watching. I really feel like I have travelled back in time to a simpler place. It is so relaxing here and things seems to not be as rushed or urgent. Everyone is so nonchalant about everything. The fashion sense is something else that is a bit different. No one seems overly concerned about what they have on or whether or not its coordinated or not. It's like just put on whatever. There is not alot of pretention here. Thats pretty cool for the moment. Every time I think about the fact that I am 7 hours ahead of everyone back in Texas it hits me that I really am in a different time and space.
Do you ever long for a simpler, less complicated life ? Do you believe it can be accomplished despite your surroundings ?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Have you ever fallen in love with something you ate on a trip?
What are some of the most peaceful and safe travel destinations ?
Friday, May 8, 2009
Where did you go on your last vacation ? Have you ever been to Europe ? What kind of cultural differences have you encountered when travelling ? What is the best thing about travelling ?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
"......Just because you had yourself a couple bad days, don't mean its gonna be this way always !"
I am so feeling this song. I have had a few down days recently, but this always seems to lift my spirits. Evidently this guy was in a group back in the 90's called "Men at Large" I actually remember the group but can't recall what song they sang. I read a couple of reviews of his new album online and I think I am going to check it out. He has some heavy hitting gospel producers so it might be worth it.
I am coming to realize that sometimes I just need to take my moments and push through it by myself. I do my best to keep to myself when I am feeling blue, cause then I don't have to try & explain to friends how I am feeling. I am a hopeful and faithful person and I know how & what He has brought me through, yet sometimes, the negativity creeps in. The ghosts of past hurts and disappointment. I don't want to stay in that place too long, so somehow, some way, I have to find the will in myself to pull myself up and out of the blues. No one can do it for me. When I begin to count my blessings I realize I can't total it all up. Yesterday my cousin called me. We don't talk on a daily basis usually once or twice a month . This was her 3rd time calling me in the last 5 days. I suddenly realized that I had been distracted in our last few conversations. Something made me really listen to what she was saying. She finally relayed the situation, which is not uncommon these days. She works in real estate....not enough closings in the last few months...she and her husband are behind on their mortgage....she is trying to get some assistance with the mortgage company... but she is in a bind....she didn't want to ask... I was the only person she felt could help. She felt embarrassed and ashamed to come to me...but was at the end of her rope. I heard the fear, the worry in her voice. It gave me perspective, on my life. Suddenly I could see my way out of the blues. I may not be where I think I should be, but I am exactly where He needs me to be. I am blessed to be able to help her and told her that I would go to the bank today and I did, with joy and peace in my heart. I have a good life. I have my health. I have my family. I have true friends. I am loved... and I am thankful.
How do you handle the blues ? Do you believe helping others helps your self ? What music or favorite song lifts your spirits ?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
What age is appropriate to open the discussions with kids ?
What do you think about how parents should approach the subject of s.ex with their children ?
Were your parents or other relatives open with you about it ?
How/where did you learn what you needed to know ?
Monday, March 30, 2009
Now we have been talking consistently but not as much as I am accustomed to. He is an early bird and I am a night owl. I have more flexibility in my work schedule, so this limited some of our interactions and ability to have longer conversations. One of the things that I look for in conversation is what path a man is on in his life. Distant One made it clear early on that he is looking for a wife, which is fine, but what seemed to bother me was his futuristic talk well before we had even met face to face ! I made my ultimate desire to be married again someday known, but I tend to approach this pretty openly & definitely don't get into that type of talk too deeply until I have determined whether there is a sincere mutual interest between both parties.
This guy is a Christian & has been in church for about 3 years now. He is solidly blue collar, yet he is a home owner. He is family oriented. His went to college for about a year. He is not dumb, but honestly the conversations have been limited because it does not appear that he has any real interests beyond sports. One of the things about him is that he is a jokester. He is always making a joke & sometimes its hard to know when he is "kidding" or serious. Sometimes I have to say, "OK can you be serious for just a second". He asked me well over a month ago to commit to another family event over Easter Weekend. I tried to stall him because I wanted to wait until we had at least met first. This event will involve some travel but I ultimately agreed to attend with him. Last week we agreed that even if after we met if there was no connection, we would still proceed with the event& go our seperate ways after that. It seems to me that he wants to save face with his family. I was OK with that plan initially.
So we met this past weekend. Friday was supposed to be the night that we spent together & then Saturday I was to be at the Crawfish Boil/Domino Turnament with his family & friends. He insisted after picking me up for dinner an HOUR late that we go by his brothers house so that I could meet him and his sister-in-law. First thing I noticed was that he had lied about his height. I am 5'10 ( which means 6' in heels). He made it obvious by calling me "shorty" after the first few minutes in my home. I called him on it & told him there was no way he was 6'. The other thing that I immediately noticed was his teeth. I will attempt to be respectful and just say they were not very appealing to me. What I realized instantly was that in none of the four pictures that he sent me was he smiling. I had no way of knowing. I was a bit dissappointed but trying to be open minded, after all I had been talking with this person for a few months.
The men were in the garage & the women were in the house. They guys were drinking and a bit rowdy, there were some unneccesary comments about my appearance that Distant One should not have subjected me to, as it was very uncomfortable. I realized that I was being paraded for their approval. This was waaaay to premature. We went in to meet the sister-in-law and her friends whom were all very nice. They greeted me very warmly and were very hospitable.The problem I had was when they insisted that we stay there at the house with them because they had "plenty of food if you guys are hungry". I'm thinking," do you people not realize this is our first time meeting and our first date ? "I was gracious and polite but was going to let him handle it. I think for a moment he considered that we would just stay but at some point he got the message.
We went to a restaurant of my choice since we were in my stomping grounds. I should also point out that he does not seem to be much of a restaurant person & his diet consists of bar food, etc. He said that he enjoyed the seafood at Goode Company in Katy. When we walked into the restaurant & were waiting to be seated, he walked away from me to the bar to check the score on the game. I was seated alone & then he looked up to realize that I was already seated. The food was wonderful but the conversation just OK. I think he may use jokes, to alleviate him of nervousness or to hide his limited social skills. During dinner both his sister in law & brother called to find out when we were coming back. I decided to say nothing. I was just going to see how far he would take it. He did ask if I minded if we went back over to their house. He made a comment about them wanting to get to know me. We returned after dinner & basically just sat around watching TV & talking. It was a bit akward for me because again, this is my first time being in the prescence of this person & I am with family members too ? There were alot of inside jokes. I was able to be somewhat involved in the conversation but still this was not what I had expected, especially since the following day there was a scheduled event with these same people. We finally left so that he could take me home. He tried to make it seem as if he was waiting for me to say I was ready to go. I could not understand how he would put me in that position & did not understand why we needed to go back to their house since I had already met them earlier in the evening. We should have taken this time to get better acquainted.
The following day we only had about an hour 1/2 together before going to the event. Conversation was ok, but he made one too many comments about my appearance in my jeans. I was flattered the first time. After that, it seemed juvenile. We arrived at the event. He participated in and won the Domino tournament with a friend of his. I was able to make conversation with the ladies there at the park and later, a friend of mine showed up with her boyfriend. Aftewards we went back to his sisters house & he invited my friend and her boyfriend to come. Distant One was busy playing cards with his relatives and did not really engage me or my friends. My friend attempted to talk with him and her summation to her boyfriend was "BC is not going to like him he doesn't have enough conversation".
He took me home later that night. We were both tired. I invited him in & we sat on the sofa, both falling asleep, limited conversation. I was feeling like I had spent a weekend and did not really know this person any more than before he came & he was leaving first thing in the morning. He stayed for about 30 minutes. When he got back to his brothers house, he called me to let me know that his family was clowning him saying " BC must really not like you, she didn't let you stay at her house not one night!" I had no comment. Now I am trying to figure out if I want to suffer through the event in two weeks or not. I am inclined to try to give him another shot and also keep my word since we did discuss what would happen if we didn't really connect this weekend.
What would you do ? How long should you wait before introducing dating partners to family and friends ?
Monday, March 9, 2009
This past weekend I had the wonderful experience of hearing a couple of my favorite musicians perform live. On Saturday night I went to see Joe Carmouche a popular Jazz Guitarist. He has a very nice and intimate place in downtown Houston called Le.gends Jazz Cafe. I went to listen to him and his trio play on a first date with a new guy that I actually met last week at W.al-Mar.t of all places. (Details in another blog post). I really enjoyed it. The have some really nice artwork everywhere. It's very simple and cozy spot and the music was amazing ! I was able to talk with him personally after the set as he seemed to be quite familiar with my date. I have seen him perform opening for lots of Jazz artists that come through Houston. In person he was very gracious and made me feel really welcome. They also serve some very good Cajun Cuisine too. We shared an appetizer platter which consisted of some Boudain Balls, some type of Seafood Egg Rolls, Chicken Wings and some Seafood Beignets that were really good. Since I gave up alcohol for Lent, and my date does not imbibe, I'm not sure about whether or not the drinks are good. This is definitely a very nice place to take a date or even friends. The crowd was extremely diverse and really responsive to the music. I will definitely return.
On Friday night, a girlfriend and I went to one of my favorite spots in Houston, The R.ed Cat Ja.zz Cafe to hear Frank McComb who is more like a Jazz vocalist. He plays keyboard and has a voice as smooth as silk. I should also mention he is fine as wine ! My mom is a huge fan so I managed to get a photo with him after the show. She was so excited to open up her email. Frank sounds like a cross between Donny Hathaway and Stevie Wonder and has smile that lights up the room. The Red Cat is a larger venue that the other place and has quite a bit of local talent like Kyle Turner a saxophone player that plays pretty regularly. This is a great place for people who really appreciate real music and is not even close to being a meat market or pickup spot. Now the food at the Red Cat is not recommended. I have been disappointed many times so I try to always come after dinner. I make a point to get out to this place at least every other month or whenever a national artist comes through.I love to go and hear artists that I know perform well live. Some of my absolute favorites are Lalah Hathaway, Ledisi, Jill Scott, Mint Condition, Anthony Hamilton and Kem.
Who are some of your favorite live performers ? Where in your city can you go to hear truly talented artists and musicians ?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Things I plan to eliminate:
4. Listening to negativity
Things I plan to increase:
1. Daily scripture reading & prayer
4. Journaling & Blogging
I am on the road to turning 40 this summer and am feeling quite positive about it. Because I have had a few major setbacks these last few years I am trying my best to boost myself up as much as possible. The danger in this is becoming too self-absorbed. I want to maintain a balance of being encouraged with lots of humility. I have faith that He will direct my path, as long as I am listening to Him and praying for discernment.
Are you making any sacrifices during Lent ?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Have you read this book ? What did you learn ?
Why do you think there is an audience for it ? What are your thoughts ?
Friday, February 13, 2009
I am definitely a lover of Valentine's Day. Even though I am currently single, I still fully support this holiday. I consider all the V- Day bashing that is going on in blog land just ol' fashioned Hatin ! When Christmas comes around each year, Christians don't say " Oh I go to church every Sunday & read my bible everyday, I don't need to celebrate the birth of Jesus on some holiday, I celebrate it everyday in prayer !" LOL ! When you are in love there is nothing wrong with celebrating that love on a special day, regardless of the fact that you should celebrate it every day, there is nothing wrong with a designated holiday. Like Babs said over on her spot, the majority of haters are single. I am not in that club. Do I wish I had a special someone to celebrate with ? Of course. Will I hate on those who do? Not ! Just yearning for my own that has yet to come, but I know is definitely on the way in due time. I think it's funny that some people have to pretend not to care to cover up their disappointment. I am so beyond that. I am honest about ALL aspects of being single, the good, the bad & the ugly. My closest friends will tell you that.
I plan to fully enjoy my Valentine's Day Weekend. I am going out tonight for a pre-Valentine's Day Celebration with some single friends. I am going to wear a flamin' hot red dress & I am surprising my friends with some lovely roses that I have purchased for them, to celebrate the love I have for them and our friendship. We are going to a cool little wine bar and then on to another spot for some live music & dancing. I plan to get up on Saturday & make myself some heart shaped pancakes & turkey bacon and then head out to support my close friend http://www.ericpete.com/home.htm who has recently published his 7th novel titled " Sticks & Stones". I love Eric, he is a true gentleman and a great friend, so I am coming to his book signing and bringing him some roses too ! That evening I am going to the movies with a guy who is just a friend and I plan for us to see something funny to make my heart smile. On Sunday I am going to celebrate with the love of my life Jesus :) and spend the day celebrating our love affair & all the wonderful Valentine's gifts that he has given me. I am going to cook a nice dinner & enjoy some wine under my gazebo in the lovely backyard of the beautiful home that He has blessed me to own, with mortgage payments that I can easily afford. I am going to prepare for the next week to go to the wonderful job that He has provided me with that allows me to provide for myself and assist others despite this recession. I am going to exercise with the healthy body that He has given me to celebrate the blessing that is Life!
What are your plans for celebrating love in your life this weekend ?
What do you find funny about Valentines Day ?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Do you know anyone who ended up happy after dating a "married but seperated" man ?
Why are so many people willing to begin dating & even start full blown relationships before they have handled their business ?