Thursday, December 3, 2009

Your Husband is Cheating on Us

I guess I will go ahead and weigh in on the Tiger Woods situation since its all anyone can talk about at the moment. The most interesting thing to me is the delusional idea that many "jumpoffs", "mistresses" or whatever you want to call them have about the cheaters willingness to "cheat" on them. OK, newsflash, a man cannot cheat "on" you when he is cheating "with" you. That is what you call an oxymoron. I took note of the fact that the first girl that came out of the woodwork did nothing but adamantly deny that she and Tiger were anything but friends, that is UNTIL the other mistresses starting coming out for their 15 minutes of fame. I guess her intention was to be loyal to Tiger and show him that she was down for him and had his back, and would not throw him under the bus, but she soon found out the joke was on her. I guess you are OK with being the sideline chick as long as you are the ONLY sideline ? But once you find out that you are not the only one, then all bets are off ? I mean, you expect faithfulness from a man who is cheating on his wife? WTF I mean where does this arrogance come from ?

I know a guy, who is a friend of a friend, he is married for many years, I am sure his wife knows he cheats, there is no way she could not, in my opinion. I honestly think she won't divorce him out of pure spite (or maybe she has her own man on the side). For me, the whole marriage is a sham but thats a story for another blog. Either way, in addition to having produced an outside child during the marriage, he has exactly THREE count 'em, THREE, long-term outside chicks that he has dealt with for YEARS. He spends 1 or 2 days a week with each one of these ladies, including overnight stays. He sees them all consistently enough for them to all be deluded into the idea that they are in a real relationship with him. I have personally met two of the women at social gatherings. He even goes to church pretty consistently (every other Sunday) with one of them ! Many times either one of these women is getting the short end of the time spent, but the most important detail is ,THEY ALL KNOW HE IS MARRIED BUT DO NOT KNOW THE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS EXIST. He has come close to getting busted on many occasions, not by the wife, but by one of the girlfriends & he works hard to keep them unaware of one another. Why ? Because somehow if any of them found out about the other, they might want to end the relationship. WTF? They are cool with the fact he has a wife, but another sideline......Oh Hell no ! LOL How ignorant.

This reminds me of a very unpleasant memory from my past. I am divorced. My ex-husband got caught up infidelity while we were living apart temporarily due to his job transfer. He was in LA & I was in Houston. By the time I figured it out, he was in a full fledged affair, with a women who was convinced that he was going to divorce me and be with her. She knew that he was married. I had just recently found out about her and my ex had expressed to me that he intended to end it with her so that he could try and work things out with me. I was devastated but did not want to divorce and was willing to try and mend the marriage and prayed that he would remove her from the equation to give us a chance. I wasn't very surprised when I got a call from her at 5:00AM one morning from California. She took this opportunity to enlighten me as to all that had gone on between herself and my husband. The most interesting thing about the conversation was what had actually prompted her call to me on this particular day. She admitted that he had tried to break things off with her & told her he wanted to work things out with his wife, she admitted that she was hurt angry & upset, she admitted that she was stalking him, because he was no longer giving her access to him, and on this particular evening that she was calling me, she had followed my husband from his apartment & confronted him with a woman that she had assumed was ME only to be told that it was NOT me ! A whole lot of drama ensued to the point that the police had to be called. It was a mess ! He later actually called me and confirmed this whole event, even admitting that he was on a "date" LOL ! to try and paint her as a "crazy stalker chick". Either way, I found it interesting that she felt the need to call me and tell me that my husband was cheating on us! Because for sure that was her goal, to be sure that I knew all that he was doing to both of us! I. HAVE.NO.WORDS.

As the saying goes, "How you get your man, is how you lose him".

Why don't women understand that, cheaters do what cheaters do.........cheat ?


pserendipity said...

I had to go back and read the second paragraph. Church? Man, some of these men need their heads busted.

Lawd...he was taking the girl to Church. I mean seriously? The whole thing offends me, but you're going to take her to the place where JESUS is?? Something about that offends me more.

Beautifully Complex said...

@Pserenditpity, I am with you on this and to add to it, how do you as a woman sit up in church with another woman's husband ? Unbelievable !

Tiffany In Houston said...

All I have to say is the title of your blog certainly sums it all up. There is NO movie that could ever be as good as real life. That is some WILD shit!

Beautifully Complex said...

@ Tiffany in Houston, as I always say, "The truth IS stranger than fiction" LOL ! So glad that God removed me from the nonsense.

12kyle said...

Damn! You hate to hear stories like that. I'm sorry to hear that you went through that.

Even though your ex put you through alot, hopefully it won't prevent you from trusting a man again.

Beautifully Complex said...

@Kyle Thanks. I make a good effort to be very open to the possibilities with guys that I meet. I trust until I have a concrete reason to question you. I am determined to not be that chick with too many bags! LOL It's not always easy, but I do it.