Planning for the Big Day !

Hey blog friends ! I have been MIA for a minute.  It has been a hectic few weeks since we got back from New Orleans making our wedding plans. First of all, we BARELY missed Hurricane Isaac, meaning if we had planned our trip for the following weekend it would have been a complete nightmare ! Secondly, once we got back to Houston my Fiance's Uncle's condition worsened and sadly, he has passed away. We will be traveling to the East Coast this week for the funeral so keep us in your prayers for traveling grace and for me to find ways to comfort him because they were very close and he is having a very hard time with this.

We spent a whirlwind 4 days of planning in the Big Easy & got quite a bit accomplished I must say. First and foremost the contracts are signed and the deposits have been made, so the official wedding date is set for Saturday October 19, 2013 !!!! I am so excited about having a Fall wedding in New Orleans far away from the heat and humidity and at the very end of Hurricane Season LOL. October is the month with the lowest rainfall, best temperatures and lowest humidity.

We have blocked a few hotels in the area for our guests at different price points. So we went to each hotel and met with the Managers so we could personally look at the rooms. We want to make sure that our family and friends really enjoy their stay. We actually stayed the Dauphine Orleans which is the hotel that is closest to our Reception Venue in the French Quarter. We had a great time, the service was great and the Manager actually sent up a bottle of Champagne on our first night !

Enjoying his coffee in the courtyard

Let's toast to love & happiness ! 

We had two food tastings with catering companies Pigeon Catering and New Orleans Catering and two cake tastings with Royal Cakery and Flour Power. They all went very well. So now we just have to make a final decision. We are both in favor of the same catering company( Yaaay for agreement ! LOL) and Mr. Mixologist is going to let me make the final call on the cake since the price difference is not significant at all & they both tasted extremely good.

We absolutely love the city of  New Orleans and have met some really great vendors, that have been very professional and provided lots of helpful ideas. Even though we are planning this from far away, they are all very responsive to emails and calls which makes this a lot less stressful than it could be.

We made a final decision on our Ceremony Venue, and I couldn't be happier. The one place that we were waiting for construction to be finished on, is just not going to work out. It was a beautiful venue, it's just not going to be big enough. However,  the place that we did book is going to work just fine. Our ceremony is going to be outdoors in a French Courtyard at a private home located in the French Quarter. The lady that I have been working with is the sweetest person, I have spoken to her since the Hurricane and everything is fine at the house. There were a few branches and some ivy that got damaged by the storm but by the time our date rolls around next year we should be good to go. It's called the Montegut House.

The red doors are the entrance to the Ceremony location.

Our Reception is going to also be in the French Quarter at the Musee`Conti  Historical Wax Museum of New Orleans.  They have a beautiful space above the museum and our guests will be able to tour the museum throughout the cocktail hour of the reception if they wish. The lady that runs this place has also been a dream, giving me great advice on other vendors and lots of helpful suggestions. I guess it's official and I do have "Wedding Fever" LOL.  We both actually are getting excited. By far, the vendor that I am most excited about booking is my photographer Studio Tran. Now Mr. Mixologist initially gave me a little push back on this vendor because they are pricey,  but I convinced him that your photographs are the only thing left after the wedding day is long over. He knows that I love pictures and this was very important to me, so he gave in & has since reminded me each.and.every.time.we have had to compromise on something since then LOL. Believe that, and I have compromised in other areas.  But that's OK, it will be worth it. They have lots of albums on their website, that are very impressive to me.

On Saturday Mr. Mixologist spent several hours at the Cigar shop, while I had a Bridal hair and make up consultation with two ladies. I was pleased with both of them and got some direction on what I need to do to get my hair where I want it to be by the wedding date and although I did like the make up consultation, it is clear to me that I most definitely need to get some pounds off in the next year so that I won't have this double chin in all of  my pictures, LOL !

Makeup Trial...just me naturally ! 

Hair Affair ! 

Of course while in town, after tending to the business at hand, we made time to have some fun as well.We hit our favorite spots on Frenchman Street and tried out a couple of  new restaurants along with our old standby's.  If you follow me on Yelp, you can check out some of my reviews. By far our greatest new discovery on this trip was a restaurant called Jacques-Imo's Cafe, you can read my review for more details,  but just know that the food and service were phenomenal. My cell battery died so I did not get any photos for the blog or to tweet or instagram, but my memory serves me very well. If you are ever in New Orleans make plans to check this place out.

I am glad to have so many big items off my checklist, so that I can spend the time I need this next year working out, changing my eating habits so I can lose some weight and working on a few DIY projects that I have in front of me. My sister and a couple of my talented Bridesmaids are going to help me out too. I am looking forward to the process. They say once you set a date, the time flies by, so we shall see.

A found this on Pinterest a few weeks ago.

Well said. I have promised my family & friends that I will not become a Bridezilla and I mean it LOL. So far things are coming to together just fine.


Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex

Weddings & Funerals..........

You know how people talk about how weddings & funerals bring out the craziness in families. Well I am seeing it first hand. And boy is it ugly. My best friends sister passed away on Tuesday. However as soon as she went to Hospice just a week before, the drama was already starting among the family. The dispute is over the family home. For clarity, my friend is the youngest of six siblings 3 boys & 3 girls.  The oldest sister (who just passed)  was married with no children. Her husband is a deadbeat, and has been for years. No job in like forever, I'm talking for more than 25 years he never worked. He basically lived off of his wife who had a government job that kept them comfortable, especially when you consider the fact that they had no mortgage because they lived in the home that her deceased parents purchased. How they ended up in the home is another wild & crazy story. Prior to them moving into the home it was occupied by the middle sister (who died about 7 years ago). The middle sister had initially moved in with her two children to take care of their father for several years prior to his death when he was sick with cancer. That was originally how the first of the siblings ended up back living in the family home. When the father died, she stayed in the home for a few years. In fact, the father prior to his death deeded the house to the middle daughter (everyone assumes this was his way of showing appreciation for the care she gave him). Initially no one had an issue with this because she had been the main one caring for their ill father. But over time the older sister (everyone believes it was motivated by her husband) began to resent that the middle sister was living "rent free" so she & her husband, get this......sold their home & moved into the family home along with the middle sister and her two kids. It was very crowded (this is not a mansion) so the oldest sister ended up converting the garage into a living area and building somewhat of an addition to that side of the home & built a carport for their cars. The middle sister didn't really fight this, since it was their parents home.  The other 4 siblings all had their own homes. Evidently the drama began 7 years ago when the middle sister died. That's when some funny business went on with the deed on the house, the siblings all thought they were signing the house into the name of all of the remaining siblings.  This is what the kids of the middle sister agreed to (they were her only heirs). But after that transfer was made, a subsequent deed transfer then put the house in the name of the oldest sister AND her deadbeat husband. Evidently no one knew of this second mystery deed transfer until recently when oldest sister became ill and they started looking at things to anticipate what would happen upon her death. Oh what a drama filled mess ! She of course was very ill and none of the siblings wanted to confront her about it,  but obviously some funny business went on years before. They are all pissed that now that the oldest sister is gone, the house will evidently go to her deadbeat husband that none of them really care for because he is her sole heir. They don't think he should be the rightful heir to the home their parents bought. They also don't feel he deserves it because its not as if HE worked for years and years and paid for any of the upkeep, maintenance or repairs or even the addition they added all those years ago. Now none of the 4 siblings wants to move into the house, and they don't want to put him out on the street (they discussed letting him stay until his death when they thought the house was still in all of their names) but it just seems that it should go to the bloodline heirs which include them & ultimately all of their children. The oldest sister had no kids. I am interested to see what you guys in blogland think about this situation.

Now on to weddings....so far I have not had any drama with my planning (other than trying to carve this guest list down to only those who I believe will actually travel to NOLA when its time to pull the trigger, LOL) but I love reading & commenting on the Knot.com message boards ! It's like wedding blogging.  It is so interesting to see what all the brides-to-be are dealing with in the midst of planning their big day. I promise you I thank my lucky stars every day, cause some of these brides have some truly bat s&$! crazy mothers, MIL's, and " bridesmaidzillas" (I just made that up). Recently I was reading about a bride who is just devastated because her mother has decided to boycott her wedding & is not participating in anything including wedding dress shopping. The reason: The groom has a twin sister, who happens to be gay. The groom has decided that his twin sister is going to be his "Best Woman" . The brides mother is so against this  that she has demanded that the bride tell her husband-to-be that this is not acceptable. She is concerned about what its going to look like, the fact that its not tradition, there is no such thing as a "Bestwoman", what people with think/say etc. She "claims" that it has nothing to do with the girl being gay (yeah right LOL) So when the bride told her mother, that she did not care who her husband had stand up for him, especially since she is his sister & that she would not make her husband pick someone else,  the mother accused her of putting her husband ahead of her family and of letting her husband "run her"LOL It is utterly amazing how selfish and self-centered people can be and its not even their wedding! But really to just decide to boycott you daughters wedding because she can't control every little detail. I mean what kind of mother does that ?

Why do weddings and funerals always bring out the dysfunction in families ?

Have you been involved in or witnessed any wedding or funeral drama ?

How would you deal with these scenarios ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

When it Rains.....

....it pours as they say. I was all set to blog like a maniac everyday this month to step up to this blog challenge, but alas life interrupts. I have contemplative and moody and in no frame of mind to blog. My fiance and I both have been fielding calls from family and very close friends that are dealing with very challenging situations. I am pretty sure that I have not mentioned this on the blog but Mr. Mixologist's grandmother is battling cancer & has been for more than 6 months. We found out just after we got engaged at the first of this year. We have been praying for her and just not knowing what is going to happen and that uncertainty along with being so far away has been hard to manage. The latest news is that his most favorite uncle is battling cancer as well but it is much more aggressive and advanced than anyone knew and his mother just recently admitted to him that it is terminal and he declining very rapidly. This is obviously devastating news. I don't know how to console him. I don't know how I could be consoled ! I have a relationship with one of my aunt's that is especially close so I can only imagine how he is feeling when I think of losing her. I actually met this uncle when I met his entire family for the first time and I have heard so many stories about him that I could tell many of them myself. I fell in love with him too and I just don't know what we are going to do. For months we have talked so excitedly about how much fun it's going to be next year when his family meets my family at our wedding and this uncle was a major part of those conversations. He is like the heartbeat of his family. I don't have any living grandparents and Mr. Mixologist is blessed to still have one set, both of his of maternal Grandparents. As we were talking Sunday after church, he talked about how his family has waited such a long time to see him get married and they are so excited and it is troubling him that "it is very possible and most likely that we will be attending two funerals before our wedding". I did not know what to say.

Now if that wasn't enough, Sunday night I get a call from one of my oldest and dearest friends that I blogged about before. Her sister has been battling cancer for over 2 years and things are not looking very good for her right now. I was talking to her, crying and praying with her and trying to console her as well as myself because I grew up with her older sister too as we have been best friends since we were both 13. She is one of my bridesmaids and I am just hurting for her right now. Both of her parents are deceased and this is her last living sister (she lost her other sister to cancer about 10 years ago). What can you say ?

The final blow was yesterday afternoon, while sitting in the doctor's office with me, Mr. Mixologist gets a call from his best friend, also a groomsmen in our wedding who was needing his help with booking the cheapest flight home to Mississippi ASAP because his uncle was sick and near death. Later that evening we got the call that he had passed, so now he is flying home for a funeral. What can you do ?

I know this is the cycle of life. We are at that age where these are the things that happen. It's just life.  All we can do is pray because we are faithful and we know that things will get better that life will get better and we will be OK no matter what happens. But I am just feeling just a little overwhelmed emotionally right now. Please say a prayer for me, my love, our family and our dearest friends. Pray that I can have the words and the ability to show him the support he needs to keep him from the darkness of depression. Thank you in advance blog fam !


Beautifully Complex

Weekend Wrap Up..... in Pictures

I went out this past weekend to hear some live music with my girlfriend. One of my favorites saxophonists Kyle Turner was featured. He played at Phil & Derek's restaurant and wine bar. It was a nice crowd, great music as always.

My friend "Golden"

After a couple of glasses of vino !

Kyle Turner

Blow that sexy saxophone !











Saturday I went with Mr. Mixologist on a car buying trip for one of his friends. I have never seen a Mercedes with suicide doors but low and behold there is such a thing .....

Sunday my friend and her daughters went to church with us. Service was good and what I needed to hear. I have been praying all weekend for one of my favorite bloggers who is dealing with a huge loss.  After getting word of the situation Saturday morning, I was simply at a loss for words. Please continue to pray for their family.

Also it was Baccalaureate Sunday so it is always good to see all of the fresh new high school and college graduates in their caps and gowns excited about the new paths ahead of them.

After church we all went to brunch at Cyclone Anaya's. The food was really good and the Mimosas were great !

"Golden" and her girls

Me & Mr. Mixologist

How was your weekend ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Weekend Wrap Up

I was a little under the weather on Friday afternoon, so by the evening I was laid out. I spent the next 24 hours trying my best to feel better. I did not want to miss my appointment, so  I went to the Salon on Saturday morning where I managed to get hustled by my Stylists  9 year old daughter. LOL It is school fundraising time & I am a sucker for cute kids who know how to sell. I bought candles & cookie dough. LOL What a combination.

By Saturday evening I was feeling good enough to attend a Bachelorette/Bridal Shower/Slumber Party for one of my friends who is getting married in 3 weeks.  We didn't actually spend the night. "Slumber Party" is the name of one of those companies that sells adult novelty stuff. I attended a similar event a couple of years ago, I think it was called a "Passion Party". Anyway, after we arrived got settled in, had some drinks & food, a lady set up a table & did a little presentation/demonstration of sorts.LOL  It was pretty funny to watch the ladies listen to the stories & the reactions of some of the women to the questions & information being shared. This was a mixed group from ages 25-45, some married, single, engaged, or dating, so it was pretty interesting.  The more the drinks flowed the rowdier some of the women became.

After the lady presented all of the products, which runs the gamut from the mild to the kinky LOL. She retreated to a bedroom & each lady went in one by one to buy what they wanted in private. Of course the rep wanted to find someone who would host another party. I enjoyed the event because the lady was not overly aggressive. She didn't press anyone to purchase anything, but from the brown bags that women were carrying out of there, she obviously didn't need to !

Sunday was football day. My Beau is a fanatic it seems. I spent the first half of the day watching games with. Mr. Mixologist. I cooked dinner for him & then he went to meet some of his friends for the later games. We had a nice time together. I spent the remainder of the day relaxing, clearing out my DVR & chatting with my sister whose birthday happens to be on 9/11.

She had a great day. Her husband and 3 children gave her a personalized Spa day.  It was cute. My niece Savannah created a handwritten menu of the services she was going to receive. They all dressed in black pants & white shirts. Each of them participated. They drew her a bath & let her soak with some bath salts & candles. She said they even had a CD player in the bathroom with Jazz playing & everything ! LOL  After that she received a foot rub and a massage. While they brought her some fancy finger food they had made (Cheese, Crackers, Shrimp & Olives) & she had a couple of glasses of Champagne, they gave her her birthday gifts. She loved it & they were so proud.

The only downside to the weekend was that I got word on Saturday morning from my mother that my former Pastor, when I lived home had passed away. He was only 63 years old ! I was saddened and surprised. He was a wonderful teacher. This news came on the heels of my former Mother-in-law passing away less than 3 weeks ago. I am still reeling from that loss because I maintained a very good relationship with her even after my divorce. She was the epitome of Christian faith. Both of these two played a very important part in my Spiritual growth as a woman & I know they are both at peace.

Overall a nice low key weekend.

How was your weekend ? Did you do anything special ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex

Thankful : Day 27 Celebration of Life

Funerals can be a mixed bag. You never really know what to expect, especially if you are not familiar with all of the family dynamics at play. Some can be very sad, others may be filled with drama and high emotion. The funeral we attended this morning was definitely a celebration of life.

She was a retired educator, and a Christian who lived a life giving to others and that is what she will be remembered for and that is what we celebrated today. The message was encouraging and the minister was familiar with the life she lived.
The music was uplifting and not sad. The mood was definitely jubilant by the end of the service.

Different denominations handle funerals differently and sometimes it varies regionally as well. One thing they did different today was at the end of the service, the Pastor made a point of saying that the casket would NOT be opened up again, so as to not undo the emotional place that the family was now in after celebrating life, not death. I thought this was a great idea, especially since they had a Wake last night and a viewing in the church before the funeral this morning.

I am a very emotional person by nature (Cancer trait). I can easily get pulled into the emotions of others, so I am glad that the funeral was truly uplifting and a positive celebration of life rather than draped with a lot of sadness.

Today I am thankful for the Celebration of Life.

What are you thankful for ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex


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Thankful: Day 21 Breath of Life

So we got word that Mr. Mixologist's sister-in-law's mother passed this weekend. She had been sick with Cancer and was recently placed in Hospice care, after being cared for by her daughter for many months at their home. We knew that things had recently turned,  but she went quicker than was expected. He just found out he is going to be a pall bearer at the funeral. He is very honored at the request, but it is challenging to him because it reminds him of the fact that he had to serve in this role in the past for an uncle and a couple of cousins that he was extremely close to.  Death is never easy, but as we all know, it is a part of life.

We have been focused on how we are going to go about adjusting our travel plans, to accommodate this unexpected change for this upcoming  holiday week.  It is going to involve a lot of maneuvering on our part. We were talking today about how challenging it will be for us to cut short a happy family visit, to switch gears emotionally and head to a family event filled with sorrow.  We will go from being laid back, relaxed and enjoying ourselves, enjoying life, to being tasked with being supportive and assisting wherever we are needed under the shadow of death.  I will be meeting some of his family members for the first time, under these unfortunate circumstances, which is not how we originally planned it. But life rarely goes according to plan as we all know.

I have been in prayer for his brother and sister-in law's comfort and recently wrote about facing a similar situation HERE. And yesterday over at CreoleinDC she wrote something that I was really feeling and thinking about as well. Death always puts me in a very reflective place. All of my time and personal challenges on this earth are bringing me to a place of peace and gratefulness of every single day that I am blessed with, as well as those around me. So today I am so thankful for the breath of life that awoke me this morning, that allows me to praise Him and to thank Him for another chance to get it right. 

What are you thankful for ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex

Just Me...Randomly

Greetings Blog family ! I know I have been MIA but sometimes when so much is coming your way, you have to unplug from certain aspects of life just a little bit and refocus. I think it is very beneficial and necessary.

My closest friend lost her mother just two weeks ago, this has been a very challenging time. I have been as supportive as possible but still feel so helpless. How do you comfort someone when they lose their mother, when she was the truest essence of that word ?

Speaking of mothers, I saw the movie "Precious" and was reminded of how much in this life so many people take for granted. All of what we have is through his Grace and Mercy. No question, we also have the power to change some things in our lives, but where you have to start from is not in our hands.

One of my high school classmates father passed away yesterday. He had a massive heart attack while jogging. He was one of my favorite teachers and a much loved coach at our school. I feel so numb.

My mother's doctor found some spots on her liver a few weeks ago, after many tests, lots of worry, fear and of course prayers, she has been given positive news. Thank you Lord.

It is really hard to realize that I am moving into the phase of life where my friends begin to lose their parents & mortality in general is in your face. Its the cycle of life, but still shakes me to think of it.

On to a lighter note, I will be home for an extended time for Thanksgiving and looking forward to spending time with my nieces, nephew and the rest of the family, counting my blessings with not enough fingers and toes to do so.

I was able to recruit even more family members to participate in the Turkey Trot again this year. I am trying my best to promote health and fitness & they are fighting me but still coming along although its begrudgingly :)

I met a guy about 6 weeks ago, we had a few really good conversations, a seemingly great first date (it lasted 4 hours), with a promise of another date in short order.........and then he vanished into thin air. No response to my calls or texts. I was puzzled for many days, then let it go. Yesterday he sent me an email with his explanation....it was interesting. I will blog about it tomorrow.

I have a good friend, whose step-son is gay. He just turned 17. She has known him since he was four years old when she started dating his dad & has been his stepmother for about 10 years. They have a very close relationship. It was obvious to me by the time he was nine or ten. I watch how he interacts with both of them & he is more comfortable around her and less so around his dad. He puts on a different persona when he is around his dad, but its still obvious to me. She says she has known since he was probably six, but it was confirmed for her when she saw some pictures on his m.ys.pace page a couple of years ago. His father is in total denial. He forced him to delete his profile, but still won't acknowledge the obvious. He is a "man's man". He thinks he can change his son by changing his behavior & will never accept it. My friend is in the middle. I feel sorry for each one of them. I wish I could help, but this is such a sensitive matter.

Comments ? Suggestions ? Whats going on random with you ?