Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Wise Words for your Wednesday

Now I must admit this is something that was challenging for this grudge holding Cancerian. LOL But I think I finally got it now. As they say with maturity comes wisdom.

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Coalition

" Write it down. Make it happen."  The is the mantra of filmmaker Monica Mingo whose first feature film, " The Coalition " just recently premiered at the American Black Film Festival in Miami to outstanding reviews. She wrote and produced this film along with Terrell Suggs of the Baltimore Ravens. Their production company Team Sizzle Worldwide has also written and produced several short films that have appeared at other film festivals including Caanes.

Watch the Movie Trailer

"The Coalition" Trailer - OFFICIAL from Team Sizzle Films on Vimeo.

Synopsis of the Film:
The bad boys club is really not all that bad. Young, rich and handsome...the boys know how to have a good time. They love women, fast cars and doing whatever they want to do. There comes a time in life, however, when karma is helped along. When it's done by a group of scorned can prove to be devastating.

The Cast  & Crew:



It has been a joy to watch Monica on her life journey. I have followed her blog, CreoleinDC  for many years now and have met so many wonderful, empowered, intelligent, and beautiful women through her blog community that she affectionately calls "The Tribe". Several of them have become my friends IRL. Monica is a very encouraging, confident and motivating woman who has overcome many serious challenges in her own life but survived and remains a force to be reckoned with. So very proud and excited for you Monica ! 

Please show your support for this movie !

Like the Facebook Page for The Coalition
Follow Team Sizzle on Twitter

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?
Beautifully Complex 

Monday, June 25, 2012

Closure... the Gift you give Yourself

I have a good friend that is going through a disappointing breakup. I have been a listening ear for the last couple of months as her relationship has limped along on it's last leg. We have had countless talks over cocktails, late night phone calls and discussions about how it happened, what went wrong, when it went wrong, how it went wrong, what could have been done to circumvent it and on and on and on.  My fiance has listened to portions of these conversations in between him watching the NBA playoffs. He knows this friend as well and he has offered up the "male perspective" from time to time as needed.

I don't mind being a patient, listening ear to a friend going through things. In fact, I am known for it among my closest friends for sure and take pride in that fact. I think it is part of the healing process. You never really know what peace and understanding you can offer to a hurting person and I personally have benefited immensely from having good friends in my corner as well being extra patient with me. I read a lot (as most bloggers do) and can't always recall where I heard/read something. Recently I read a blog where a man was trying to explain why he believes that  women in general are "loyal to a fault".  It was an interesting read but in case you don't read it, in summary :

Anyway, women are overloyal. And here’s why: because women hate to be wrong. Leaving a man would require a woman to admit that she chose wrong. Which has to be a very difficult conclusion to draw considering how quickly most women are willing to place all of their proverbial eggs in that one basket. I’ve always found it interesting how women will find a man and date him for a while and be done. There’s no more looking. They have a man and that’s the one they’re hoping to end their dating life with. This perplexes me because it leaves very little room for evaluation. The evaluation that gets done isn’t to determine if she should stay or leave, it’s done to determine how to keep the relationship she’s in despite whatever issue exists. So while men never seem willing to work anything out, I suppose women want to work everything out. Not that I’m advocating for the early dissolution of a relationship because we don’t want to work, but let’s be real here, if you choose wisely upfront you won’t have to dissolve anything later, right?

I chewed on this for a minute and I have to say that I think that this is true in many instances but it is a little more complex than just that. Because once you have identified all of the problems or issues with a particular man or the relationship and determined that it is just not going to work out, the next step for some women is to question how you missed the "signs" or why did you didn't see him for what he truly was, and then you question yourself and your judgement and ultimately begin to blame your self for making the "mistake" of choosing to become involved with this person.  I get this because I have seen it done repeatedly and and I have done it myself.  However, what I have learned to do as I have matured is to learn how to evaluate entire situations and  be accountable for my mistakes without shouldering the ENTIRE blame if I am not totally at fault.  If someone's intent is to deceive you, how is that YOUR fault alone ? If someone misrepresents certain aspects of themselves because to not do so would give you a more accurate view of the situation and of that person,  how is that YOUR fault ? If someone succeeds in misleading you, how is that YOUR fault ? Bottom line is this. Relationships are complicated, but the good ones are built on trust, honesty, commitment, communication and fidelity. If either party compromises any of these areas, the integrity of the relationship is now in question. Even if a woman is guilty of trusting a man, opening her heart to a man, giving of herself and her resources to a man, how is that MORE wrong, than the deception that a man uses, to gain all of that from the woman ? Sometimes its hard to make a wise choice when you have incorrect information.

We cannot be afraid of the truth. Whether it hurts, whether it's disappointing, whether it's a surprise or not. The truth needs no support and in truth there is power. The power to heal,  the power to move forward, the power to make good choices and better decisions.  I read somewhere that when romantic relationships fail, men are more likely to blame the other party and express their feelings about it outwardly in the form of anger (physical altercations, violence, shootings, etc) and that women are more likely to blame themselves and internalize it, trying to figure out what they did wrong, suffer from anxiety, becoming depressed leading to suicide, etc. I know this is not an absolute, but I have really seen it play out this way very often.

My friend and I talked about her need for "closure" and the interesting thing is that women seem to always want to seek this out from men, who have been less than upstanding in dealing with them (hence the demise of the relationship) which makes this need totally unreasonable. It usually never happens.  Closure is the gift you give yourself. Closure is when you take your power back and refuse to give energy to a person who has hurt you. Closure is when you decide how you want to live your life and you don't need a committee or a pow wow or permission or a meeting of the minds to accomplish that.  It is a lesson that I personally wished I had learned a lot sooner than I did and a concept that I am more than happy to share.

How do you know when a relationship is over & its time to take the " L " regardless of who is at  fault  ?

Do you find that you need closure or something from the other person to put it behind you ?

Do you think women are overly afraid or embarrassed to admit when they feel they have made a wrong choice ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Throwback Thursday

Have you ever been to a 70's party ?

I went to one about 7 years ago sometime around 2005 and had an absolute blast. Everybody was in costume, we had 70's music, did the Soul Train Line, we had dance contest, costume contest and a soul food buffet.  For this weeks Throwback Thursday I thought I would share some pics from the party......

That's me on the left LOL

Do the Hustle ! 

Lining up for the Costume Contest

Look at these two LOL

They were doing some " Pimpology " routine of some sort. 

We were doing the "Bump" 


I still remember going to this vintage clothing store to put together my costume for the party. Man that was a really fun time. At the party,  folks were doing more than just wearing costumes, they were all in character and everythang ! LOL I haven't seen these pictures in a while. Laughing at these photos reminds me that I might need to put some of my Fac.ebook friends on blast ! LOL

Have you ever been to a 70's or any other type of throwback style party ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Weekend Wrap Up..... in Pictures

I went out this past weekend to hear some live music with my girlfriend. One of my favorites saxophonists Kyle Turner was featured. He played at Phil & Derek's restaurant and wine bar. It was a nice crowd, great music as always.

My friend "Golden"

After a couple of glasses of vino !

Kyle Turner

Blow that sexy saxophone !

Saturday I went with Mr. Mixologist on a car buying trip for one of his friends. I have never seen a Mercedes with suicide doors but low and behold there is such a thing .....

Sunday my friend and her daughters went to church with us. Service was good and what I needed to hear. I have been praying all weekend for one of my favorite bloggers who is dealing with a huge loss.  After getting word of the situation Saturday morning, I was simply at a loss for words. Please continue to pray for their family.

Also it was Baccalaureate Sunday so it is always good to see all of the fresh new high school and college graduates in their caps and gowns excited about the new paths ahead of them.

After church we all went to brunch at Cyclone Anaya's. The food was really good and the Mimosas were great !

"Golden" and her girls

Me & Mr. Mixologist

How was your weekend ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Stay off my D@#% Phone !

Please excuse me while I get real ignorant.  I really try to keep it PG-13 around here, but today is not that day. LOL

This weekend I get a random text from a stray from like 3 years ago. We used to talk on the phone mostly & we dated very briefly, he just wasn't for me. He was a nice guy just no connection for me. He has had a hard life, lots of childhood trauma, so in many ways I always felt sorry for him & tried to be as nice as possible especially when I let him know for certain that I just was not interested in him romantically. Not that it matters,  but for the record, we were never physically intimate.

I remember that I had communicated with this person very briefly a couple of times via text since I have been with Mr. Mixologist. On both occasions, I  made sure very tactfully, to let this person know that I was happily involved in a serious relationship, because he inquired about my status. I have his old number still in my phone, but this text came in from a different number. I missed the first few texts messages from him, because I was sleeping.

Here is the text exchange (check out the times of these messages). My responses are in bold.  My commentary is in italics.

10:53 PM    Hi Beautifully Complex

why do they always text in the middle of the night ? 

  7:01 AM    Good Morning

 10:18AM    Hello

 10:38AM   Got a new cell phone, whose number is this ?

 10:39AM   This is ______How are you ?

 10:41AM   Doing great. How about yourself  ?

 10:43 AM  Same here, did you and Romeo get married ?

 10:46AM  We are engaged. He put a nice ring on it.
                   We are planning our wedding.
                   It's next year. How is your love life ? 

 10:50AM   Was going well, I may be single again soon.

 10:51AM  Sorry to hear that.

 10:53AM  It happens

this is where it went wrong......

 10:53 AM Are u still thick and sexy ?

10:58 AM  Send me a pic

11:01 AM  Yes No

11:13 AM You gonna ignore me ?

.....why state the obvious ?

11:22 AM Hello

damn, I guess he just doesn't get it. I guess I could have continued to ignore him, but I just really needed to get him off my phone. 

12:03PM  Asking about my body & asking me for a pic...
                 TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 
                 You  pretend to want to be friendly, 
                 but I won't jeopardize the trust
                 I have in my relationship by entertaining your text messages. 
                 Peace & blessings to you. 

Just when I though he had bowed out gracefully, 4 hours later.......

 4:00PM  F#%@  You !

4:10 PM  Yeah I know you wish you could LOL Lose my number.
                 Don't EVER contact me from any number ever again. 
                 I always try to treat you with respect you don't deserve. 
                 Stay off my phone you disrespectful asshole !
                 Enjoy your miserable life.

4:15PM   OK B$%#@ ! Enjoy his little D&%$ !

4:24PM   Yeah, you wish it was little LOL. He wears a size 15 shoe.
                 Trust & believe I am more than satisfied with
                 the bat he is swinging, which is why I won't EVER let you
                 and your phone games jeopardize what I got going on.
                 You can call me all the names you wish.
                 I know who I am and yet it is YOU who always shows
                 back up on MY phone LOL.
                 You don't deserve the respect I've always tried to show you.
                Stop texting me. Just imagine I am invisible to you.
4: 38PM   Sorry for the name calling

4: 56PM   Are we cool

4: 58PM   Are we cool


WTH ? You text me all random,  at late hours in the night, then again at the break of dawn !  You get inappropriate with me after I have confirmed that I am off the market & then when I check you on it, you want to cuss me out,  call me out of my name and then try to insult my dude !  Really, what part of the game is this ????  I was heated !

You know guys love to talk about how thirsty the women are out here in these streets and I for one am getting tired of hearing it, because what guys don't talk about is how clingy & desperate acting they can be, and  how they try to hate on the next man, just because a woman is not interested in playing games them ! I have never been the one to send pictures of myself to men on cell phones. EVER. I don't understand why people do this. This is how you end up embarrassed on the the damn internet !

I leave my email open, my cell phone unlocked and my FB open so that my love knows I have nothing to hide. We use each others laptops and cell phones all.the.time. I do my best to be an open book with him. The last thing I want is some damn confusion about some stray ass dude from 3 years ago typing inappropriate ish on my d@$& phone !

Thanks for entertaining my rant LOL

****steps off my soapbox and sits my ass down******

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Weekend Wrap Up

We had a pretty nice weekend.

Friday night I helped my girlfriend host her 10 yr old daughters Birthday Slumber party. There were a total of 12 girls from the age of 9-15. Whew ! We let them make their own pizzas, we played the Wii game Just Dance which just proved to me  how totally out of shape I am much I need some cardio in my life.  LOL She also had a young lady come to the house so that all the girls could get manicures. We did Karaoke, baked cookies and watched movies. It was a loooong night. But it was a really fun girls night.

Customizing their Pizzas

Pampering Party 

Wii Dancing & Karaoke

Cookie Decorating

Saturday she had the actual party where the rest of the family came by for Hot Dogs and Cupcakes. It was extremely hot so the girls played in the water outside before the party started.

Me and t the Birthday Girl 

Me and my best friend

Saturday night we hung out with TiffanyNHouston and her husband. Good times & plenty of laughing. Both of the guys were telling us some crazy stories from their younger days that are just not safe for the blog LMAO. We went to V21 Shot Bar & Grille.  We enjoyed some great food and drinks. We had some very nice Mojitos and I had another drink called the Electric Slide.  They have several shot variations which were pretty creative. We enjoyed a pretty good appetizer called Greek Nachos and the Calamari was pretty good too. We also had a Margherita Pizza and Cajun Shrimp Sliders. I wish I had taken some photos cause the food was really good. We didn't stay out too late because they had to get up early to go fishing and we wanted to make it to early service.

Add me on Instagram 

Electric Slide Cocktail 

Oh yeah I finally left my Blackberry  & joined Team Android a couple of months ago & I am loving all the apps & my new phone.  I just joined In.stagram  you can find me as beautifullycomplex.

Sunday was such a beautiful First Sunday. After church, we went to grab some chinese for lunch and then our favorite past time, looking at neighborhoods.  We ran some errands, got some ice cream and then I needed a nap (still recuperating from being up all night with those girls).  We ended the weekend watching the NBA playoffs.

How was your weekend ?   What did you do ?

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Funny Friday Vol. 6

This actually happened a couple of months ago, but me & my mom were laughing about it again recently and I was reminded of it.

So we took all the kids horseback riding for Spring Break. It was my 5 year old nephew K.J.'s  first time riding ever and he was so very anxious and excited. So picture this. There are 10 of us riding together on the trail. Me and Mr. Mixologist mixed in between the six kids, then you have a front Trail Leader and a Back Trail Leader.

It is a beautiful ride, and very quiet and peaceful. No one is talking. You can't really hear anything except the horses.  Everyone is just enjoying the ride, the beauty of nature and the overall atmosphere.  Occasionally, I would call out to each child to make sure everybody was OK on their horse. Both Mr. Mixologist and K.J. were riding behind me. In fact, K.J. is the very last rider because the rear Trail Leader actually had his horse's harness tied to her waist because he is such a young novice rider. I looked back at him several times to see him looking up at the sky and all around with this big smile on his face.

When you leave the ranch for the ride, you head into a heavily a wooded trail. We went on an hour long ride. As soon as you hit the trail it starts winding and twisting and turning. After about 10 minutes into the ride, you can no longer see the Ranch, the parking lot or the horse stables.

So we are riding along and I hear Mr. Mixologist start laughing. Then I hear the rear Trail Leader start chuckling too.  I turn around and can hear some conversation between K.J. and the Trail Leader but I can't make out what's being said. Then Mr. Mixologist says,

"Did you hear K.J.? "

I say,

"No, what did he say?"

He said to the Trail Leader,

"Hey, wait a minute, are you sure you know how to get us back ?" 


We all just broke up the peace & fell out laughing. Every body heard it when Mr. Mixologist repeated what K.J. said. It was too funny ! K.J. was like wait a minute, this is fun and all but we are getting real deep into these woods and I need to check and make sure you know what you are doing. LOL !

She reassured him that she did this for a living and that she would make sure that we all would find our way back to the stables before the hour was up.LOL

You can always count on kids to keep it 100 !

Thoughts  ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex