Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Friday, December 7, 2012

Funny Friday Volume 7

Mr Mixologist is fascinated with this new App & his new phone.

This made me laugh today LOL  !  Especially the old lady....


 



Enjoy !

Happy Friday ! Enjoy your weekend.

Beautifully Complex 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Stay off my D@#% Phone !

Please excuse me while I get real ignorant.  I really try to keep it PG-13 around here, but today is not that day. LOL

This weekend I get a random text from a stray from like 3 years ago. We used to talk on the phone mostly & we dated very briefly, he just wasn't for me. He was a nice guy just no connection for me. He has had a hard life, lots of childhood trauma, so in many ways I always felt sorry for him & tried to be as nice as possible especially when I let him know for certain that I just was not interested in him romantically. Not that it matters,  but for the record, we were never physically intimate.

I remember that I had communicated with this person very briefly a couple of times via text since I have been with Mr. Mixologist. On both occasions, I  made sure very tactfully, to let this person know that I was happily involved in a serious relationship, because he inquired about my status. I have his old number still in my phone, but this text came in from a different number. I missed the first few texts messages from him, because I was sleeping.

Here is the text exchange (check out the times of these messages). My responses are in bold.  My commentary is in italics.

10:53 PM    Hi Beautifully Complex

why do they always text in the middle of the night ? 

  7:01 AM    Good Morning

 10:18AM    Hello

 10:38AM   Got a new cell phone, whose number is this ?

 10:39AM   This is ______How are you ?

 10:41AM   Doing great. How about yourself  ?

 10:43 AM  Same here, did you and Romeo get married ?

 10:46AM  We are engaged. He put a nice ring on it.
                   We are planning our wedding.
                   It's next year. How is your love life ? 


 10:50AM   Was going well, I may be single again soon.

 10:51AM  Sorry to hear that.

 10:53AM  It happens

this is where it went wrong......

 10:53 AM Are u still thick and sexy ?

10:58 AM  Send me a pic

11:01 AM  Yes No

11:13 AM You gonna ignore me ?

.....why state the obvious ?

11:22 AM Hello

damn, I guess he just doesn't get it. I guess I could have continued to ignore him, but I just really needed to get him off my phone. 


12:03PM  Asking about my body & asking me for a pic...
                 TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 
                 You  pretend to want to be friendly, 
                 but I won't jeopardize the trust
                 I have in my relationship by entertaining your text messages. 
                 Peace & blessings to you. 


Just when I though he had bowed out gracefully, 4 hours later.......

 4:00PM  F#%@  You !

4:10 PM  Yeah I know you wish you could LOL Lose my number.
                 Don't EVER contact me from any number ever again. 
                 I always try to treat you with respect you don't deserve. 
                 Stay off my phone you disrespectful asshole !
                 Enjoy your miserable life.


4:15PM   OK B$%#@ ! Enjoy his little D&%$ !

4:24PM   Yeah, you wish it was little LOL. He wears a size 15 shoe.
                 Trust & believe I am more than satisfied with
                 the bat he is swinging, which is why I won't EVER let you
                 and your phone games jeopardize what I got going on.
                 You can call me all the names you wish.
                 I know who I am and yet it is YOU who always shows
                 back up on MY phone LOL.
                 You don't deserve the respect I've always tried to show you.
                Stop texting me. Just imagine I am invisible to you.
              
               
4: 38PM   Sorry for the name calling

4: 56PM   Are we cool

4: 58PM   Are we cool

IGNORE 


WTH ? You text me all random,  at late hours in the night, then again at the break of dawn !  You get inappropriate with me after I have confirmed that I am off the market & then when I check you on it, you want to cuss me out,  call me out of my name and then try to insult my dude !  Really, what part of the game is this ????  I was heated !

You know guys love to talk about how thirsty the women are out here in these streets and I for one am getting tired of hearing it, because what guys don't talk about is how clingy & desperate acting they can be, and  how they try to hate on the next man, just because a woman is not interested in playing games them ! I have never been the one to send pictures of myself to men on cell phones. EVER. I don't understand why people do this. This is how you end up embarrassed on the the damn internet !

I leave my email open, my cell phone unlocked and my FB open so that my love knows I have nothing to hide. We use each others laptops and cell phones all.the.time. I do my best to be an open book with him. The last thing I want is some damn confusion about some stray ass dude from 3 years ago typing inappropriate ish on my d@$& phone !


Thanks for entertaining my rant LOL

****steps off my soapbox and sits my ass down******

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 



Friday, June 1, 2012

Funny Friday Vol. 6

This actually happened a couple of months ago, but me & my mom were laughing about it again recently and I was reminded of it.

So we took all the kids horseback riding for Spring Break. It was my 5 year old nephew K.J.'s  first time riding ever and he was so very anxious and excited. So picture this. There are 10 of us riding together on the trail. Me and Mr. Mixologist mixed in between the six kids, then you have a front Trail Leader and a Back Trail Leader.

It is a beautiful ride, and very quiet and peaceful. No one is talking. You can't really hear anything except the horses.  Everyone is just enjoying the ride, the beauty of nature and the overall atmosphere.  Occasionally, I would call out to each child to make sure everybody was OK on their horse. Both Mr. Mixologist and K.J. were riding behind me. In fact, K.J. is the very last rider because the rear Trail Leader actually had his horse's harness tied to her waist because he is such a young novice rider. I looked back at him several times to see him looking up at the sky and all around with this big smile on his face.

When you leave the ranch for the ride, you head into a heavily a wooded trail. We went on an hour long ride. As soon as you hit the trail it starts winding and twisting and turning. After about 10 minutes into the ride, you can no longer see the Ranch, the parking lot or the horse stables.

So we are riding along and I hear Mr. Mixologist start laughing. Then I hear the rear Trail Leader start chuckling too.  I turn around and can hear some conversation between K.J. and the Trail Leader but I can't make out what's being said. Then Mr. Mixologist says,

"Did you hear K.J.? "

I say,

"No, what did he say?"

He said to the Trail Leader,

"Hey, wait a minute, are you sure you know how to get us back ?" 


LMAO !

We all just broke up the peace & fell out laughing. Every body heard it when Mr. Mixologist repeated what K.J. said. It was too funny ! K.J. was like wait a minute, this is fun and all but we are getting real deep into these woods and I need to check and make sure you know what you are doing. LOL !

She reassured him that she did this for a living and that she would make sure that we all would find our way back to the stables before the hour was up.LOL

You can always count on kids to keep it 100 !

Thoughts  ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 





Friday, March 2, 2012

Funny Friday Vol. 5

Last weekend while at home with my family, my cousin's 7 year old daughter made me and everybody else laugh.  She obviously had been hearing since Christmas something being discussed pertaining to me and marriage. I was driving her and her 3 yr old sister to my parent's home and she says to me.....


So Aunt Beautifully Complex are you married yet ?

I chuckled and say....

No Alexandra, I am not married yet, I am engaged. 

She sits quiet for a few seconds and then asks.......

What exactly is engaged ?

I think for a moment how to best  break it down for her and say....

OK,  you see this ring on my finger everyone has been looking at ? Well Mr. Mixologist gave it to me and it means that he intends to marry me.

She pauses and then says without skipping a beat...

Oh OK  I get it, I know why he did that. He did that so nobody else could pick you right ?

I could not stop laughing ! LOL  I told her yes, that is true, this ring insures that nobody else can pick me. When we arrived, the house was full of family members and of course I repeated the conversation. Everybody thought it was pretty funny and Alex was smiling while everyone was laughing. I love little kids and the way they see the world.


Happy Friday ! Enjoy yourself this weekend.


Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?


Beautifully Complex 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Funny Friday Vol. 4

I haven't seen this show yet , but I think I may set my DVR to be sure that I catch it. I thought this clip was funny ! LOL





What do you think ? Is this something that you would watch ?


Enjoy your weekend !

Beautifully Complex 

Friday, January 20, 2012

Funny Friday Vol. 3

This seriously brought a smile to my face........





I was waiting on him to really break it down ! LOL Stop teasing me President Obama!!! Man, our president is so sharp, so funny, a quick wit, so cool and such a gentleman all at the same time. In my opinion, he is such a charming and dignified leader (and has a pretty nice singing voice too). Sadly, they had to disable the comments for this video because there are so many hate filled people in the world. This is going to be a loooong ugly election year.

Oh well, no matter what, I think "Let's Stay Together in 2012" is a great slogan.


Happy Friday Everyone !


Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Funny Friday Vol. 2

Of course the web is buzzing about Shaq's new Memoir "Shaq Uncut: My Story" I love the Huffington Post and their commenters go hard in the paint. The obvious hilarity of him believing there is a "respectable way" to cheat is what every body is talking about. LOL However, as I was scanning the comments, I came across a guy who referenced a past interview from Shaq's  that had me rolling! I mean I could.not.stop. laughing!


Evidently Shaq had just returned from an overseas trip to Greece.....

REPORTER: Did you get a chance to visit the Parthenon ?

SHAQ: I can't really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to.


****DEAD******

The HuffPo commenter  was basically saying that Shaq's logic about cheating should come as no surprise since the thought the Parthenon was a club ! LOL

After laughing my A%$ off, I needed to find out of it was true, so I actually googled it & found several links to this quote from the interview. Now first let me clarify. I am a nerd. I was very bookish as a child and into adulthood. I was actually the Valedictorian of my class. So it may be presumptuous of me to think that everyone should know what the Parthenon is. But I promise you when I think of Greece it is the FIRST thing that comes to mind.

I actually like Shaq & don't really think negatively of him but, this really tickled me today.

Happy Friday ! Enjoy your weekend.

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Friday, October 14, 2011

Funny Friday Vol. 1

You may have seen this video already. Things tend to go viral pretty quickly in the FB, Twitter, social networking world. Either way I thought I would share this video here on the blog. It truly brought a smile to my face & tears to my eyes. They might be a little "cheesy" at times, but I still I love precocious little children.

I could totally see my oldest niece Savannah reacting this.exact.same.way. LOL

Enjoy !





LMAO !

She kills me when she stops to deadpan ----"It's my birthday today ?"


I am working from home today & my weekend is going to be low key so I am coasting right on in. I want to try to get outside somewhere & enjoy these fall like temperatures while they last.

Have a wonderful weekend  !

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Thankful: Day 6 Blog Friends

I knew the weekends were going to throw me off with my posting, but I have committed to making sure I get my 30 Thankful posts in this month. Late last night I managed to drop my blackberry in some water, while leaving a birthday party. The good news is that after a couple of hours of drying out, all of my information was intact and it still works. The bad news is that all of the pics I took at the blog gathering disappeared. I am sure their will be some pictures on Three Food Words soon, so you can check over there so you can appreciate all the goodness. 

First let me say that the Internet is a marvelous place, despite all the negativity that can exist online. I have been truly blessed to have been able to meet, connect and become friends with some wonderful people through blogs, twitter, and even FB.  I have been reading and blogging for about 3 years. So before FB or twitter was all the rage the last couple of years, I discovered blogs and how many talented writers there really are in the world. It is amazing how you can get to know people so well, or feel like you do, just by reading their words on a computer. It's so cool to read about peoples lives and come to know that you would be good friends just by how they present themselves online and it is great to meet them in person and have it confirmed.

I went to my very first Blogger meet up about a year and a half ago. I posted about it here. This was my first encounter meeting in person Serenity, Tiffany in Houston, and Icey. Since then we have continued to hang out IRL and I have come to know some of their friends and made connections with other people like Blaqueberrybabe, Rhapsody Diva,  CBean, and Nicintx. Last night I met WiseDiva for the first time. She is cool peeps, and a very sharp young lady.  Since becoming friends with all of these ladies I have attended a baby shower,  a wedding, a birthday party and just random meet ups for drinks and conversation. It is awesome to be able to meet and connect with real people and enjoy their company. None of my other friends are really into blogs or even twitter. Like most people, the majority of my FB friends are people that I met from school, work or are family members. Blogging is a different type of community and I am glad to be a part of it.

I must say that  Ms.Icey can "burn a pot" as Mr. Mixologist would say ! After arriving at her lovely home,  I had a drink in my hand within 5 minutes ! LOL Now that is my kind of place :) I love being around people who know how to make you feel welcome and comfortable in their home and she did just that. I met some of her family members before the other bloggers showed up and they were wonderful people. The appetizers were deelish ! We had hummus and pita chips, these little skewers with feta cheese, cucumbers, and tomatoes, and this crostini with some kind of grilled chicken, with caramelized onions and some type of aoli-like sauce  to put on top that was amazing ! She had some fresh cut apple with this cream cheese brown sugar type dip that was sooo good.  Man I wish I still had the pictures still so I could look at them again, but I am sure she will get it up on her blog soon. For dinner we had roasted chicken that was so moist, some potatoes, sauteed spinach and some carrots that were glazed with crack I swear ! LOL  Unfortunately, I had to leave early for another event, so she sent me on my way with a bag of brownies for the road. I am sure by now, you know they were heavenly ! 

So today I am thankful for the Internet leading me to my blog friends ! 

I am thankful for good food, great friends, and fun times ! 

What are you thankful for ?

Beautifully Complex 

Friday, February 13, 2009

My Funny Valentine

I heard the statement yesterday while flipping through the channels that "Valentine's Day can make or break a relationship". I was called away to something more important but later continued to ponder on whether or not that was true or not. In my estimation, most times, people know whether or not they are in a relationship that is working or not. At least ONE person knows for sure. Now whether they are truly communicating that or not is another thing. I have a close friend who is having a few challenges in her new relationship of less than a year. Some fundamental issues of what it means to be in a relationship have come up & it does not appear that there is going to be a compromise. Each person feels how they feel about it. I could see this collision in advance because she and I talk regularly and I know her better than most. The funny thing, is that it's going to take this "make or break" holiday for a decision to have to be made. I wonder why that is ?

I am definitely a lover of Valentine's Day. Even though I am currently single, I still fully support this holiday. I consider all the V- Day bashing that is going on in blog land just ol' fashioned Hatin ! When Christmas comes around each year, Christians don't say " Oh I go to church every Sunday & read my bible everyday, I don't need to celebrate the birth of Jesus on some holiday, I celebrate it everyday in prayer !" LOL ! When you are in love there is nothing wrong with celebrating that love on a special day, regardless of the fact that you should celebrate it every day, there is nothing wrong with a designated holiday. Like Babs said over on her spot, the majority of haters are single. I am not in that club. Do I wish I had a special someone to celebrate with ? Of course. Will I hate on those who do? Not ! Just yearning for my own that has yet to come, but I know is definitely on the way in due time. I think it's funny that some people have to pretend not to care to cover up their disappointment. I am so beyond that. I am honest about ALL aspects of being single, the good, the bad & the ugly. My closest friends will tell you that.

I plan to fully enjoy my Valentine's Day Weekend. I am going out tonight for a pre-Valentine's Day Celebration with some single friends. I am going to wear a flamin' hot red dress & I am surprising my friends with some lovely roses that I have purchased for them, to celebrate the love I have for them and our friendship. We are going to a cool little wine bar and then on to another spot for some live music & dancing. I plan to get up on Saturday & make myself some heart shaped pancakes & turkey bacon and then head out to support my close friend http://www.ericpete.com/home.htm who has recently published his 7th novel titled " Sticks & Stones". I love Eric, he is a true gentleman and a great friend, so I am coming to his book signing and bringing him some roses too ! That evening I am going to the movies with a guy who is just a friend and I plan for us to see something funny to make my heart smile. On Sunday I am going to celebrate with the love of my life Jesus :) and spend the day celebrating our love affair & all the wonderful Valentine's gifts that he has given me. I am going to cook a nice dinner & enjoy some wine under my gazebo in the lovely backyard of the beautiful home that He has blessed me to own, with mortgage payments that I can easily afford. I am going to prepare for the next week to go to the wonderful job that He has provided me with that allows me to provide for myself and assist others despite this recession. I am going to exercise with the healthy body that He has given me to celebrate the blessing that is Life!

What are your plans for celebrating love in your life this weekend ?
What do you find funny about Valentines Day ?