Stay off my D@#% Phone !

Please excuse me while I get real ignorant.  I really try to keep it PG-13 around here, but today is not that day. LOL

This weekend I get a random text from a stray from like 3 years ago. We used to talk on the phone mostly & we dated very briefly, he just wasn't for me. He was a nice guy just no connection for me. He has had a hard life, lots of childhood trauma, so in many ways I always felt sorry for him & tried to be as nice as possible especially when I let him know for certain that I just was not interested in him romantically. Not that it matters,  but for the record, we were never physically intimate.

I remember that I had communicated with this person very briefly a couple of times via text since I have been with Mr. Mixologist. On both occasions, I  made sure very tactfully, to let this person know that I was happily involved in a serious relationship, because he inquired about my status. I have his old number still in my phone, but this text came in from a different number. I missed the first few texts messages from him, because I was sleeping.

Here is the text exchange (check out the times of these messages). My responses are in bold.  My commentary is in italics.

10:53 PM    Hi Beautifully Complex

why do they always text in the middle of the night ? 

  7:01 AM    Good Morning

 10:18AM    Hello

 10:38AM   Got a new cell phone, whose number is this ?

 10:39AM   This is ______How are you ?

 10:41AM   Doing great. How about yourself  ?

 10:43 AM  Same here, did you and Romeo get married ?

 10:46AM  We are engaged. He put a nice ring on it.
                   We are planning our wedding.
                   It's next year. How is your love life ? 


 10:50AM   Was going well, I may be single again soon.

 10:51AM  Sorry to hear that.

 10:53AM  It happens

this is where it went wrong......

 10:53 AM Are u still thick and sexy ?

10:58 AM  Send me a pic

11:01 AM  Yes No

11:13 AM You gonna ignore me ?

.....why state the obvious ?

11:22 AM Hello

damn, I guess he just doesn't get it. I guess I could have continued to ignore him, but I just really needed to get him off my phone. 

12:03PM  Asking about my body & asking me for a pic...
                 TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 
                 You  pretend to want to be friendly, 
                 but I won't jeopardize the trust
                 I have in my relationship by entertaining your text messages. 
                 Peace & blessings to you. 

Just when I though he had bowed out gracefully, 4 hours later.......

 4:00PM  F#%@  You !

4:10 PM  Yeah I know you wish you could LOL Lose my number.
                 Don't EVER contact me from any number ever again. 
                 I always try to treat you with respect you don't deserve. 
                 Stay off my phone you disrespectful asshole !
                 Enjoy your miserable life.


4:15PM   OK B$%#@ ! Enjoy his little D&%$ !

4:24PM   Yeah, you wish it was little LOL. He wears a size 15 shoe.
                 Trust & believe I am more than satisfied with
                 the bat he is swinging, which is why I won't EVER let you
                 and your phone games jeopardize what I got going on.
                 You can call me all the names you wish.
                 I know who I am and yet it is YOU who always shows
                 back up on MY phone LOL.
                 You don't deserve the respect I've always tried to show you.
                Stop texting me. Just imagine I am invisible to you.
              
               
4: 38PM   Sorry for the name calling

4: 56PM   Are we cool

4: 58PM   Are we cool

IGNORE 

WTH ? You text me all random,  at late hours in the night, then again at the break of dawn !  You get inappropriate with me after I have confirmed that I am off the market & then when I check you on it, you want to cuss me out,  call me out of my name and then try to insult my dude !  Really, what part of the game is this ????  I was heated !

You know guys love to talk about how thirsty the women are out here in these streets and I for one am getting tired of hearing it, because what guys don't talk about is how clingy & desperate acting they can be, and  how they try to hate on the next man, just because a woman is not interested in playing games them ! I have never been the one to send pictures of myself to men on cell phones. EVER. I don't understand why people do this. This is how you end up embarrassed on the the damn internet !

I leave my email open, my cell phone unlocked and my FB open so that my love knows I have nothing to hide. We use each others laptops and cell phones all.the.time. I do my best to be an open book with him. The last thing I want is some damn confusion about some stray ass dude from 3 years ago typing inappropriate ish on my d@$& phone !


Thanks for entertaining my rant LOL

****steps off my soapbox and sits my ass down******

Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Text Fighting Aint Fair

Not sure how this happened but I ended up in a "text battle" today that really managed to aggravate me. Once in a while I will meet someone, have a few dates & things just don't fully click. No big deal it usually seems apparent to both people when the connection does not develop. It's happened to me enough times that I just don't sweat it. Two decent people, just no mutual feelings develop. After our 4th and final date last week, I was pretty much sure that me & Military (from my post earlier this week) were through. As I mentioned there were just a few things that had come to bother me over the approx 30 days we dated. I truly was attempting to just be sure that I wasn't being too particular & trying to give things a bit of a chance. He was being a little pushy(aggressive), but I tried to understand that because that is how some people are when they are interested in someone. He evidently was "sure" he wanted to pursue this with me after such a short time, whereas I can honestly say that he was still being evaluated on my end. But either way we were just dating. He called me the day after our New Year's Eve date & I missed the call. He left a message. I returned his call about an hour later but got his voicemail so I left a message for him to call me back. He did not call me for at least 2 days I'm sure. I fully intended on telling him when he called back that I just wasn't feeling it. He never returned my call & I never called him back. I thought perhaps he was sensing the disconnect as well & had decided to let things just fade to black. No biggie. Fast forward almost a week to today. I know that he left for a business trip on Sunday which was actually the same day that I managed to put my cell phone in the washing machine. It was the weekend, I had to file a claim for my replacement phone & then get it activated. I have been off the air for approx 3 days so if he called but didn't leave a voicemail I wouldn't know. If he sent a text I wouldn't know. Either way, I awake this morning to the following message:

"Have not heard from u. Whats up u alright or just not interested?"

I take a minute and decide how to respond. I truly wanted to make this more about me & less about him so I replied;

"I'm cool just took some time for personal reflection. But honestly my interest has waned. I just don't feel enough of a connection. I wish you peace. "

This was his response:

" I think you should have been more honest earlier I would have more respect for you if you had. My time is very valuable to me & u wasted it. Good luck."

Now I have to be honest. Looking back on this. It was my fault that things got truly ugly. I should have just let it go. But the problem was that I made it a point to try to make this about me but he had to go & accuse me of being dishonest & insinuate that he had less respect for me? I should have just let him have the last word. But no I just had to respond:

" We went on 4 dates. No dishonesty here. It takes ME a little time to get to know a person to determine if we are compatible. But sense you mention respect I would have more for you if you were less-------"

My message cut off, so he quickly responds :

"Less what ?"

My response was this:

"Less arrogant. U assume your time is more valuable than mine. I tried to tactfully explain how I felt & you basically are trying to make me out to be a liar !"

Now he's getting heated, so this was his response:

"Arrogant ? U went on dates with me accepted gifts & did not have the courage to tell me what was going on with u. Try to validate ur behavior anyway u want. I'm glad ur true colors are showing"

For the record, the "gifts" he refers to is a pair of tickets to a basketball game that he purchased months ago for himself (and whomever he intended to plug in). However his month long business trip was going to prevent him from being able to attend the game. He actually told me about the tickets on our second date & explained that he intended to give them to a co-worker of his. I don't know if he was gauging my interest or what. It was just conversation as far as I knew. About a week later he mentioned that his co-worker was also going to be out of town. Again I made no comment. I do recall him asking me what I was doing on the 13th. Anyway, on our third date which was after he returned from visiting his family at Christmas, he gave me a Christmas Card with the tickets inside. I did graciously except them. His statement to me was" you better take one of your girlfriends and not some other man". I said " Of course not I have more class than that "& we laughed. Later during this same dinner date our conversation centered on whether or not I had told my family about him, since he was aware they were in town for Christmas. I advised that I had NOT & had to explain that I just don't give my family specific details about my dating life unless I am settled into a relationship. He wanted me to know that he had told his mother and his children ages 16, 14 & 6 about me. This was puzzling to me & we discussed our different philosophies about it, but we just flat disagreed about it. I thought it was very premature & told him so directly. Our fourth date was New Years Eve & at this point I had no solid reason to back out. But I will admit my disconnect was beginning to become real to me but I decided to see how things would go. But a couple of things that happened that night sealed it for me (for a later post). Anyway back to the texts. I just felt like he was attacking me for having "dated" him & was trying to make me out to be trying to get something out of him. In my opinion the tickets were an afterthought. He did not buy the tickets for me, so its not like he went out & selected something specifically for me. Secondly, I was not even his first choice to give the tickets to. He gave them to me because he didn't want them to go to waste. (He is new to this area & doesn't know many people). So I responded like this:

" True Colors" ? You pretentious ass ! You should learn how to deal with rejection better. We went on 4 dates. Get over it !"

His response:

"Very Christianlike behavior usually ignorant people use profanity because they have no other way to express themselves. Goodbye"

My final answer:

"Judgement and attempting to be condescending is not Christianlike either. Learn some humility. Please don't text me anymore control freak."

He did not respond again.

I know I was wrong in many ways but I truly felt provoked. It should not have happened through texting but the truth is, he is one of these guys that always seems to prefer texting over talking on the phone anyway. I realize that I should have had the courage to call him on the phone & I do regret that. But he did ask the question in a text. I truly feel bad, that I allowed myself to get into a "text fight" like this. But I would have felt worse if we had ended up in a verbal argument. I did resolve to try to be "slow to anger & quick to mercy" this year but it just went out the window. It's still January I guess I can start over tomorrow !

Have you ever had a text fight ? How many dates does it take you to figure out if you have a real connection with someone ?