Happy Birthday to me....... Happy Birthday to me !
So thankful to be blessed to see another year and this one went by very fast. I am seriously understanding the meaning of enjoying life every. single. day. because this time is not waiting... at all. LOL
I am appreciating simple things more and more it seems. I don't know if its age, maturity, wisdom or a combination of all three but I am enjoying the fullness of my life and every experience that each day brings.
I am learning the art of saying no...without the guilt. I am a reformed "people pleaser" and I used to allow it to stress me out. I say "used to" like it has changed totally LOL ! The truth is, it is still hard for me occasionally, but I am definitely getting better. I used to want to commit to everything and everybody, but I am learning to accept that I can't do everything. Conflicts arise some out of your control. I recently missed my line sisters baby shower which would have required traveling quite a distance. I really did want to see her and everyone there. I just couldn't make it happen and I am OK with it. On to the next one.
Just got back from NOLA last week. I attended my 12th Essence Festival ! I have to admit it took me about 3 days to recover no joke. Now on the way home I can honestly say I was really beginning to feel my age for the first time. I used to bounce back much faster. Either way I can't imagine going anywhere else for the 4th of July it just wouldn't seem right. I appreciate the way that Essence tweaks things a bit every year so that it's what you expect, yet still different. Now for the record, I definitely missed Frankie Beverly and Maze and cry foul on the decision to remove them from the lineup this year. Not that Earth Wind & Fire isn't a good band, because they most definitely are, but I just feel like Frankie & Maze are just staples of the Essence experience & they should not have messed with that tradition. But they didn't consult with me. LOL
Saw my favorites of course, Lalah Hathaway, Ledisi, Mint Condition, Joe to name a few. I looooooove the Superlounges so much better than the main stage. It seems the Artists that I like the best are always there. I love the intimate setting & the fact that I can make eye contact with the Artists & get right up close to the stage. I follow Lalah & Ledisi on twitter so that was pretty cool to keep up with them while being in such close proximity.
On the relationship front.....things are going wonderfully ! We have made it to the six month mark just this week and we BOTH are pretty proud of that fact and still excited about it. I am still smiling everyday and feeling blessed to have found someone that accepts me as I am. Also, I think I am going to give my honey (formerly known as Eastcoast) a new blog name, Mr. Mixologist for a couple of reasons. First and foremost because of his talents with creative libations. He prepared some Lemon Drop Martini's for me and my girls to take with us to NOLA and baby, we were feeling it as soon as we got settled in our rooms and broke into that cooler ! He also makes a mean Cosmo and a Mojito that will make you think you are down in Cuba ! Secondly, because he is a hilarious jokester, that keeps me on my toes daily. He is always teasing me and makes me laugh at myself all the time. We have all these inside jokes now, where he or I can say one word, that reminds us of something that we were laughing at last week and we are dying laughing again ! I really like that about him.
This year my birthday is pretty low key since I had the big 3 day Extravaganza last year. However, I do have some family coming in this weekend that will be meeting Mr. Mixologist for the first time. I am both excited and nervous about that. There is one person in particular that I really want him to click with, but I want it to happen naturally. Mr. Mixologist plans to take him to his Cigar spot & just might get him some extra points.
My nieces and nephew will be here soon, to wear me out for a couple of weeks before they head back to school. I am sure to have some blog fodder during their visit, so hopefully I can get into a habit of posting more timely.
Lately, I have been doing more listening and asking more questions and being quiet so I can hear HIM. I am definitely being more reflective these days and being open to receive what is for me. I am learning to accept some things in a real way. This has led me to experience a level of contentment that I haven't felt in a while. It feels good.
Be Blessed !
Beautifully Complex
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
M. I. A.
It has been more than a minute since I posted on my poor little blog here. I have been reading my favorites and commenting where I can, but just have not found the time. Admittedly, I am caught up in this new relationship and enjoying it tremendously and that has been a huge factor and major distraction. I am on Twitter too, even though I can't always comment a lot because I spend the majority of time behind the wheel of a car while working and can't always tweet, that has kept me from blogging too. But even beyond the blog, I have been MIA in many areas of my life, so caught up in the "new new" (TIH 2009) with this man known here as Eastcoast :) Things are going so well, I think I want to give him a different, more appropriate blog name at some point, but I need to think on it. Any ideas or suggestions ?
Spring Break with my nieces and nephew was wonderful. We crammed so many activities into that week, that I had to call my boss late that week to ask for Monday off just to recover ! We took the kids horseback riding, painted ceramics, did some baking and cooking, went to Galveston Beach, swimming at a waterpark & hosted a back to school cookout at the house for them and some of my friends kids that live here. Eastcoast was a huge help to me that week, even taking vacation for 3 days to help out. Though he has no children of his own, he is wonderful with kids, extremely patient and very attentive. My nieces ate him up ! LOL. He helped me with lifeguard duty, help me break up squabbles, he barbecued, and even drove the whole way back to meet their parents for the drop off Sunday. One of my friends jokingly said, he needs to stop "showing off" LOL ! He also got a chance to meet my sister and BIL, who in turn gave a good report to my parents and some other family members who have been super curious about him, because things are going well for us so far. Neither of us have family in Houston, so it has just been the two of us getting to know one another, so far it has been wonderful.
We celebrated his birthday a couple of weeks ago along with some of my close friends. We surprised the Birthday boy and went to Monnalisa a lounge at Hotel Sorella and had a wonderful time. We all started off drinking Martini's but later in the evening the female bartender sold me on their signature drink she had created called the Monnalisa that had some rasberry infused Vodka with some fresh rasberries too, and it was soooo awesome ! I partied like it was my birthday ! We later moved outside onto the patio where they have some beautiful gazebo's on the edge of the pool and they have LED lights in the pool that change colors. I love hanging out in City Centre and great time was had by all.
The next day we celebrated solo. I surprised him with a trip to the Day Spa for a couples massage, which he had never experienced before. It was hilarious to see him out of his "comfort zone". He had no idea what we were going to do that day, but he rolled with it and was a good sport about it. He thoroughly enjoyed himself & actually snored a time or two on the table. Me and both of the masseuses were laughing at that ! Later, we went to see Tyler's new movie and that night for dinner I chose his favorite, Japanese. We went to a new place that has great Sushi and ended up with this hilarious black Hibachi chef who should quit his day job and become a comedian for real. He was so funny ! He really took a liking to Eastcoast & by the end of the night, the chef who had a couple of his friends at the restaurant, bought us all some Sake shots to celebrate. He loved the birthday gifts I selected and was very appreciative of everything. He is not big on birthday's and I really am, so I just had to try to indoctrinate him ! LOL He shared with me the next day that it was the best birthday he's had in a very long time. I really enjoyed making him feel special, because he makes me feel special every day.
That's enough gushing for the day, I am sure, but happiness is hard to contain sometimes :)
I am gonna do my best to post at least weekly, starting today.
Beautifully Complex
Friday, March 5, 2010
Open and Closed
All this "Open Marriage" nonsense has gotten the best of me ! What a stupid oxymoron. Marriage is a covenant, which is closed, not open. It is a holy covenant between a man a woman, and their God for a lifetime. Simple as that. It kills me when we start trying to create the things that we want and call it something it's not. Plain and simple, relationships outside of marriage while married is adultery, just like sex before marriage is fornication. So when you are married and give your spouse an open invitation to commit adultery, just call it what it is, a "sham". So it seems, the counterpoint to this is all of the cheating that goes on in marriages, that is being kept "secret" and the idea is that if you are "open" then you can have outside relations as long as you are honest about it. Seriously ? That makes it OK ?
If you have never experienced adultery inside of a marriage, I don't know if you can ever be prepared for how it truly affects you. Especially if cheating, or the suspicion of it, is not something that you ever encountered when dealing with your spouse even before marriage. I really don't see how knowing about it in advance could really minimize how it makes you feel, how it can destroy you. There are all of these ideas floating around the internet & in discussions with folks about monogamy and why it is not realistic, etc. I guess my point is, if you can't be monogamous, then why get married at all ? I fail to understand why folks can't just stay in their lane. Why don't all the people who believe that we are not meant to be monogamous deal with those who feel the same way, and leave marriage for those who truly believe in the Covenant and stop making a mockery of it. I mean why not just "shack up" as the old folks used to say. Whats wrong with just having an " open relationship" ? I just don't get it.
Interestingly enough, when my ex-husband cheated, I actually was willing to try to work through it. Trust me, no one was more surprised about that than me. Before we got married, when we talked about cheating, adultery, etc. I was always the one who insisted it was a deal breaker & was convinced I could not get over it. However when confronted with the reality, I found that I felt totally different. I did not want to lose my husband, my marriage, or my life as it was. In hindsight, I think I was more afraid of the loss of our relationship and friendship after such a betrayal, and I did fear divorce and how it would totally change my life (it did), but what I didn't initially understand was how much was actually already lost by the time he decided to step out. The simple fact is, some things you lose cannot be recovered, ever. It didn't matter in my case, because in his mind, he was already gone once he made that choice, he did not want to reconcile, so ultimately we divorced. The truth is, I will never really know if I could have gotten over it or not, or whether we could have ever had a positive relationship. It may have been impossible.
I have a couple friends and some close family members whose marriages have actually survived adultery. I can honestly admit that I have been envious of the fact that some of those marriages survived, because they have not lost all of the things that I had to lose and have not had to go through the life rebuilding and many transitions that I have. I am not proud of my envy. But truthfully, not all of these marriages that have survived are to be envied, because upon closer inspection, I see what has been lost. There is one marriage that I can honestly say IS better for it, but I still don't know if I believe that the trust can ever be recovered, or that you can have anything close to what you had before such a betrayal, especially when the woman has cheated.
I have begun to consider for real whether or not you can really continue to have the type of intimacy that I crave in a relationship, when you know the other party has cheated, permission granted or not, and I just can't see it. But I understand that everyone's expectations are different. Since the only legitimate grounds for divorce in the bible is adultery, I think God understood exactly what he was doing. I am dating a new guy, EastCoast, we talk about everything that we both have experienced, the good and the bad, in past relationships. He is 39 never been married, but has several close friends that are married some happily and some not. We talk about many things as it pertains to relationships and marriage. He is adamant that cheating for him is a deal breaker. I initially tried to explain to him that sometimes you may not be prepared for how you feel in a situation & there are many things to weigh and consider. I only expressed this to him because I remember I was as adamant as he is about this issue BEFORE I was married & ended up feeling totally different when presented with the situation. Also, I personally know a MAN who was willing to forgive his WIFE for cheating, and I know how unusual that is. But I will say this, I am leaning towards my original position before I got married the first time, that adultery is a deal breaker. I am thinking that my first mind was right. I do believe there should be some lines that you do not cross. People are always so bent on looking for the exception, the short cut, the get around, but truly what is wrong with having a standard, some integrity ? I think we should open our minds to what the true intent of the marriage covenant is, instead of looking for the way around it.
And as NeNe from RHOA told Kim " Close your legs to Married Men" LMAO!
Do you believe in monogamy ?
Does it seem that cheating these days has become common ?
What are your thoughts on "open marriages" ?
Do you think that trust can ever be retrieved after adultery ?
Beautifully Complex
If you have never experienced adultery inside of a marriage, I don't know if you can ever be prepared for how it truly affects you. Especially if cheating, or the suspicion of it, is not something that you ever encountered when dealing with your spouse even before marriage. I really don't see how knowing about it in advance could really minimize how it makes you feel, how it can destroy you. There are all of these ideas floating around the internet & in discussions with folks about monogamy and why it is not realistic, etc. I guess my point is, if you can't be monogamous, then why get married at all ? I fail to understand why folks can't just stay in their lane. Why don't all the people who believe that we are not meant to be monogamous deal with those who feel the same way, and leave marriage for those who truly believe in the Covenant and stop making a mockery of it. I mean why not just "shack up" as the old folks used to say. Whats wrong with just having an " open relationship" ? I just don't get it.
Interestingly enough, when my ex-husband cheated, I actually was willing to try to work through it. Trust me, no one was more surprised about that than me. Before we got married, when we talked about cheating, adultery, etc. I was always the one who insisted it was a deal breaker & was convinced I could not get over it. However when confronted with the reality, I found that I felt totally different. I did not want to lose my husband, my marriage, or my life as it was. In hindsight, I think I was more afraid of the loss of our relationship and friendship after such a betrayal, and I did fear divorce and how it would totally change my life (it did), but what I didn't initially understand was how much was actually already lost by the time he decided to step out. The simple fact is, some things you lose cannot be recovered, ever. It didn't matter in my case, because in his mind, he was already gone once he made that choice, he did not want to reconcile, so ultimately we divorced. The truth is, I will never really know if I could have gotten over it or not, or whether we could have ever had a positive relationship. It may have been impossible.
I have a couple friends and some close family members whose marriages have actually survived adultery. I can honestly admit that I have been envious of the fact that some of those marriages survived, because they have not lost all of the things that I had to lose and have not had to go through the life rebuilding and many transitions that I have. I am not proud of my envy. But truthfully, not all of these marriages that have survived are to be envied, because upon closer inspection, I see what has been lost. There is one marriage that I can honestly say IS better for it, but I still don't know if I believe that the trust can ever be recovered, or that you can have anything close to what you had before such a betrayal, especially when the woman has cheated.
I have begun to consider for real whether or not you can really continue to have the type of intimacy that I crave in a relationship, when you know the other party has cheated, permission granted or not, and I just can't see it. But I understand that everyone's expectations are different. Since the only legitimate grounds for divorce in the bible is adultery, I think God understood exactly what he was doing. I am dating a new guy, EastCoast, we talk about everything that we both have experienced, the good and the bad, in past relationships. He is 39 never been married, but has several close friends that are married some happily and some not. We talk about many things as it pertains to relationships and marriage. He is adamant that cheating for him is a deal breaker. I initially tried to explain to him that sometimes you may not be prepared for how you feel in a situation & there are many things to weigh and consider. I only expressed this to him because I remember I was as adamant as he is about this issue BEFORE I was married & ended up feeling totally different when presented with the situation. Also, I personally know a MAN who was willing to forgive his WIFE for cheating, and I know how unusual that is. But I will say this, I am leaning towards my original position before I got married the first time, that adultery is a deal breaker. I am thinking that my first mind was right. I do believe there should be some lines that you do not cross. People are always so bent on looking for the exception, the short cut, the get around, but truly what is wrong with having a standard, some integrity ? I think we should open our minds to what the true intent of the marriage covenant is, instead of looking for the way around it.
And as NeNe from RHOA told Kim " Close your legs to Married Men" LMAO!
Do you believe in monogamy ?
Does it seem that cheating these days has become common ?
What are your thoughts on "open marriages" ?
Do you think that trust can ever be retrieved after adultery ?
Beautifully Complex
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Excited About the Possibilites
Please excuse me while I try not to gush ! LOL This year has gotten off to a great start. I have been super busy at work over the last several months and though I had been complaining a bit about it, last week I did have my annual review and I must say I was more than pleased that my manager seems to really appreciate my contributions. She has shown me in so many ways that she is cutting for me big time and I count that as a blessing. In this economy, in this recession that is touching everyone, even in my close circle with its effects, I know whom to give the praise.
This weather has done a number on my "Getting it in, in 2010" fitness plan, since it has been colder than usual here, its been hard for me to stay motivated to get out and run like I need to. Despite that, I have been focusing consistently on some changes to my diet and have actually seen some results. The pounds are coming off slowly, but they are still coming. I plan to give up bread for Lent, which is something that I loooove, that is hard for me to not have, but I know that is going to give me a extra boost too along with the exercise when I start getting to it regularly. I have signed up for a 5K at the end of March and thanks to fellow blogger SingLikeSassy I plan to get it done.
I am getting ready for my nieces and nephew's annual Spring Break Retreat to Texas. I have been busy doing my research and planning our activities and outings, making my grocery list, and such to ensure that we have a grand time as we always do. When they come, everything and everybody else is put on hold, and my world turns upside down completely, they run me ragged, we have a blast, we all cry when they leave (or at least me and Savannah do ! LOL), and it takes me at least 3-4 days to physically recover ! LOL But it is so worth it. This year, my cousins are sending their daughters along too, so I will have a full plate of little ones. I have a hard time keeping up with FB, twitter, and blogging now, so I know its going to be crazy when they get here next month.
And lastly, but definitely not the least, I have managed to wake up, turn a corner and encounter one of the most amazing men that I have met in a very long time. It has been only a short time, but the intensity and the level of interest and compatibility is there on all fronts and I am honestly excited and very optimistic. We met just after the beginning of January, I was at a birthday party for a friend, and me and my BFF decided to ride along with him to go pick up some Cigars for the guys at the party, and this new guy who will be known as East Coast was sitting in the Cigar Bar with a group of guys. He was in the corner wearing a hat and he noticed me first. I never even saw him because I was inside the humidor intently trying to learn something about Cigars. Fast forward to our first date at Starbu.cks that lasted 3 hours. The second date we left a jazz club to go to a different Starbu.cks for another 2 hour conversation, on the third date, we saw "The Bo.ok of E.li" and went to Starbu.cks for another 3 hours of great conversation.
We have gotten off to a great start and things are developing very nicely. He is so considerate, very interesting, extremely funny, meaning I am laughing every single day ! LOL He is highly intelligent, and a Christian. He treats me with so much respect and he expresses himself with no problem. He is very giving and a great listener and observer. He is extremely close with his family, even though they don't live here in Texas. We share so many of the same interests, that last night while we are all hanging out, my BFF asked me right in front of him " WTH, did you go to Build-a-Bear or something ! LOL" We were all laid out laughing at her comment. The chemistry and attraction is off the charts and most importantly he is being very consistent with me. All of this to say, that I am very open and happy to feel excited about the possibilities. He knows my whole backstory and I know his. He tells me, that it is amazing to him that I am not bitter. I am thankful that he sees me that way, because I know for sure there are some remnants there, but I feel blessed that HE has healed me in many many ways. I want to be "emotionally available" to receive what is for me, when it's for me. In the mean time, I have figured out that true love can only find its way through an OPEN heart.
To all my readers and lurkers,
Happy Valentines Day !
Any special plans ? How do you like to celebrate ? Other thoughts/comments ?
What are you excited about?
Beautifully Complex
This weather has done a number on my "Getting it in, in 2010" fitness plan, since it has been colder than usual here, its been hard for me to stay motivated to get out and run like I need to. Despite that, I have been focusing consistently on some changes to my diet and have actually seen some results. The pounds are coming off slowly, but they are still coming. I plan to give up bread for Lent, which is something that I loooove, that is hard for me to not have, but I know that is going to give me a extra boost too along with the exercise when I start getting to it regularly. I have signed up for a 5K at the end of March and thanks to fellow blogger SingLikeSassy I plan to get it done.
I am getting ready for my nieces and nephew's annual Spring Break Retreat to Texas. I have been busy doing my research and planning our activities and outings, making my grocery list, and such to ensure that we have a grand time as we always do. When they come, everything and everybody else is put on hold, and my world turns upside down completely, they run me ragged, we have a blast, we all cry when they leave (or at least me and Savannah do ! LOL), and it takes me at least 3-4 days to physically recover ! LOL But it is so worth it. This year, my cousins are sending their daughters along too, so I will have a full plate of little ones. I have a hard time keeping up with FB, twitter, and blogging now, so I know its going to be crazy when they get here next month.
And lastly, but definitely not the least, I have managed to wake up, turn a corner and encounter one of the most amazing men that I have met in a very long time. It has been only a short time, but the intensity and the level of interest and compatibility is there on all fronts and I am honestly excited and very optimistic. We met just after the beginning of January, I was at a birthday party for a friend, and me and my BFF decided to ride along with him to go pick up some Cigars for the guys at the party, and this new guy who will be known as East Coast was sitting in the Cigar Bar with a group of guys. He was in the corner wearing a hat and he noticed me first. I never even saw him because I was inside the humidor intently trying to learn something about Cigars. Fast forward to our first date at Starbu.cks that lasted 3 hours. The second date we left a jazz club to go to a different Starbu.cks for another 2 hour conversation, on the third date, we saw "The Bo.ok of E.li" and went to Starbu.cks for another 3 hours of great conversation.
We have gotten off to a great start and things are developing very nicely. He is so considerate, very interesting, extremely funny, meaning I am laughing every single day ! LOL He is highly intelligent, and a Christian. He treats me with so much respect and he expresses himself with no problem. He is very giving and a great listener and observer. He is extremely close with his family, even though they don't live here in Texas. We share so many of the same interests, that last night while we are all hanging out, my BFF asked me right in front of him " WTH, did you go to Build-a-Bear or something ! LOL" We were all laid out laughing at her comment. The chemistry and attraction is off the charts and most importantly he is being very consistent with me. All of this to say, that I am very open and happy to feel excited about the possibilities. He knows my whole backstory and I know his. He tells me, that it is amazing to him that I am not bitter. I am thankful that he sees me that way, because I know for sure there are some remnants there, but I feel blessed that HE has healed me in many many ways. I want to be "emotionally available" to receive what is for me, when it's for me. In the mean time, I have figured out that true love can only find its way through an OPEN heart.
To all my readers and lurkers,
Happy Valentines Day !
Any special plans ? How do you like to celebrate ? Other thoughts/comments ?
What are you excited about?
Beautifully Complex
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Marvels of the Internet
I must confess, sometimes the internet is my pacifier. It's amazing how many mind numbing hours I can spend and not realize how much time has actually passed. So many people talk about how the internet has caused us to become disconnected and I can concede that point to a degree but in many ways, the internet has allowed me to be connected to so many more people in more intimate ways than I could ever have imagined.
Honestly, there are many times when I use the internet to help me deal with boredom, loneliness, frustration, and especially insomnia. I don't know if I can say it really helps me or not, but it definitely serves as a serious distraction and makes it more palatable some days.
Today I am going to share some of the more interesting sites I have run across either just doing random searches or found on some of my favorite blogs. I have these bookmarked to occasionally peruse depending on my mood. These provide me hours upon hours of mindless entertainment, laughs, amazement, shock and awe. Sometimes I even learn something ! LOL Hope you enjoy.
MY UNTOLD SECRETS
This is an anonymous site where people can post things that they may have not have ever confessed to anyone. These can be thoughts or opinions about situations or actual confessions of things that people have actually done. It can range from, " I have the password to my ex-girlfriends email and still check it since we broke up 3 years ago just so I can keep up with what's going on in her life " to something like " I took someone's life by striking them with a car and leaving the scene. I'm such a coward, its been 15 years & it still haunts me. Lord help me. " After reading numerous posts, I realize that some of them are probably not true, but honestly after reading many more, I am inclined to think that the majority are true. The human condition is very fascinating. It's kind of interesting the things that people need to express even if anonymously, I guess as some kind of catharsis. I can actually see myself getting some blog fodder from some of the stuff I have read on there. The pictures and images that the site owner adds to the confessions makes this site a little more compelling as well.
EBONY MAGAZINE ONLINE FROM THE BEGINNING
This is a really cool link. You can read actual original copies of Ebony Magazine from 1959 through 2000. I mean they have every page from cover to cover including all of the advertisements scanned for every month, and this is some very interesting reading ! I probably didn't actually start reading Ebony until I was about 10 years old, so since I have access from ten years prior to my birth, there is at least 20 years of stuff for me to catch up on. There is lots of stuff I had even forgotten I knew in the many pages of this historical magazine. I might actually print some of this stuff off to teach my nieces about African-American culture and history, when they come to visit on their school breaks. You know how they always do the profiles on professional careers in the front of the magazine ? (I can still remember when I was a kid, wanting to grow up and be successful enough to be featured in the magazine just like every other little black child I am sure.) One of the things that I do now is when reading one of these old profiles if somebody interests me, I Goo.gle them now to see whatever happened to them.
YOU KNOW YOU DEAD AZZ WRONG
This is a guilty pleasure of mine, but I have to admit to it ! LOL I am a serious lurker on this site at least weekly, but I NEVER comment. That's really only because there is a group of people who comment on the regular & they have it on lock. They are hilarious & sometimes what they have to say can sometimes be more entertaining than the photos ! People need to understand that the internet is forever and be careful about who you release your images to. The site owner is off the chain too. She posts actual emails from people who write in threatening "legal action" to have their photos taken down from the site, and she clowns them on the regular and REFUSES to take the pics down. Evidently it's usually their "friends" that send the pics in ! LOL It is amazing how proud & unashamed so many people can be, posing like they are doing it when they are looking crazy as H@$% ! LOL I mean sometimes all I can do is SMH and say "my people, my people". After about 30 minutes or so of this site I find myself wondering if the internet really is the devil ?
There you have it folks, some of my favorite time fillers. As you can see they run the gamut from "sick and twisted" to "culturally enlightening" to "hilariously shameful". Please don't judge me ! LOL Hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Check them out and them come back over here & tell me what you think.
Does the internet help you to escape or relieve stress ? Is it just entertainment ?
Do you have any interesting links or sites that you enjoy or would recommend ?
Thanks in advance !
Beautifully Complex
Honestly, there are many times when I use the internet to help me deal with boredom, loneliness, frustration, and especially insomnia. I don't know if I can say it really helps me or not, but it definitely serves as a serious distraction and makes it more palatable some days.
Today I am going to share some of the more interesting sites I have run across either just doing random searches or found on some of my favorite blogs. I have these bookmarked to occasionally peruse depending on my mood. These provide me hours upon hours of mindless entertainment, laughs, amazement, shock and awe. Sometimes I even learn something ! LOL Hope you enjoy.
MY UNTOLD SECRETS
This is an anonymous site where people can post things that they may have not have ever confessed to anyone. These can be thoughts or opinions about situations or actual confessions of things that people have actually done. It can range from, " I have the password to my ex-girlfriends email and still check it since we broke up 3 years ago just so I can keep up with what's going on in her life " to something like " I took someone's life by striking them with a car and leaving the scene. I'm such a coward, its been 15 years & it still haunts me. Lord help me. " After reading numerous posts, I realize that some of them are probably not true, but honestly after reading many more, I am inclined to think that the majority are true. The human condition is very fascinating. It's kind of interesting the things that people need to express even if anonymously, I guess as some kind of catharsis. I can actually see myself getting some blog fodder from some of the stuff I have read on there. The pictures and images that the site owner adds to the confessions makes this site a little more compelling as well.
EBONY MAGAZINE ONLINE FROM THE BEGINNING
This is a really cool link. You can read actual original copies of Ebony Magazine from 1959 through 2000. I mean they have every page from cover to cover including all of the advertisements scanned for every month, and this is some very interesting reading ! I probably didn't actually start reading Ebony until I was about 10 years old, so since I have access from ten years prior to my birth, there is at least 20 years of stuff for me to catch up on. There is lots of stuff I had even forgotten I knew in the many pages of this historical magazine. I might actually print some of this stuff off to teach my nieces about African-American culture and history, when they come to visit on their school breaks. You know how they always do the profiles on professional careers in the front of the magazine ? (I can still remember when I was a kid, wanting to grow up and be successful enough to be featured in the magazine just like every other little black child I am sure.) One of the things that I do now is when reading one of these old profiles if somebody interests me, I Goo.gle them now to see whatever happened to them.
YOU KNOW YOU DEAD AZZ WRONG
This is a guilty pleasure of mine, but I have to admit to it ! LOL I am a serious lurker on this site at least weekly, but I NEVER comment. That's really only because there is a group of people who comment on the regular & they have it on lock. They are hilarious & sometimes what they have to say can sometimes be more entertaining than the photos ! People need to understand that the internet is forever and be careful about who you release your images to. The site owner is off the chain too. She posts actual emails from people who write in threatening "legal action" to have their photos taken down from the site, and she clowns them on the regular and REFUSES to take the pics down. Evidently it's usually their "friends" that send the pics in ! LOL It is amazing how proud & unashamed so many people can be, posing like they are doing it when they are looking crazy as H@$% ! LOL I mean sometimes all I can do is SMH and say "my people, my people". After about 30 minutes or so of this site I find myself wondering if the internet really is the devil ?
There you have it folks, some of my favorite time fillers. As you can see they run the gamut from "sick and twisted" to "culturally enlightening" to "hilariously shameful". Please don't judge me ! LOL Hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Check them out and them come back over here & tell me what you think.
Does the internet help you to escape or relieve stress ? Is it just entertainment ?
Do you have any interesting links or sites that you enjoy or would recommend ?
Thanks in advance !
Beautifully Complex
Friday, January 15, 2010
Just Me..........Randomly
Greetings Blog family ! Hope your 2010 is off to a wonderful start. Other than the record breaking cold temperatures in Houston over that last couple of weeks making me have to dust off my winter coat that I usually never use here, it has been great.
Got a chance to check out a new wine spot last week. Max's Wine Dive. The wine was great and the food looked really good, but I had already eaten so I didn't get a chance to sample. My group was standing at the end of the bar, near the entrance to the kitchen, so I could see the constant parade of food headed to the tables. I exercised some major discipline and didn't order anything and also limited my wine intake for the evening. The ambiance and the crowd were cool to so I most definitely will be back.
Happy Founder's Day to my beautiful, intelligent, and talented Sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I was looking through some pledge pictures of me and my line sisters last night and cannot believe how unbelievably skinny I was in college. I would not want to be that skinny again..... but dropping 15-20 lbs. would be good for this year ! LOL
I have a friend who is from Haiti who I actually met online several years ago. Please pray for his family during this challenging time. I spoke with him by phone yesterday and he seems OK but I could not imagine how to deal with so much uncertainty. It seems that financial donations are the best means of helping at the moment.
Tomorrow morning is the Houston Marathon, wish I had stayed committed, like I planned and I wouldn't be talking about dropping lbs :( ! I was looking over my finisher medals from the 4 Half-Marathons that I have completed & had really wanted to be able to run the full by the time I was 40, but my knees have just said no way. I am going to watch it on TV in the morning and then get on the bike for ride. The good thing is that one of my friends has signed me up for another 20 mile bike ride in March and a couple of road races ( 5K & 10K) so I am trying to get prepared & motivated to meet some fitness goals.
Speaking of, so far this year I have been focused on cooking and eating out less. I was doing pretty good the first 10 days or so, but then worked kicked in hard the second week and I have been putting in some very long hours & it's just so convenient to grab something when you are tired. Sometimes meal planning seems like work and I procrastinate & then end up just back to the same. I will try again this weekend to do my shopping and planning & just be better.
I have been getting some of the funniest emails from internet dating sites that I subscribe to.
I think I may save some of them for blog fodder as opposed to deleting them like I usually do.
I haven't really been actively searching but just read the messages that I get a couple times a week. It's funny, since that little age box clicked over to 40 on my profile, all the the 55+ think they have a shot ! LOL
My plans for the lovely weekend include girls night tonight, grocery shopping, meal planning and my date with Denzel Washington on Saturday ! LOL ,then Sunday, watch a bit of the Marathon on TV, put some miles on the bike, head to church, cook dinner & chill. Monday is MLK Day, so weather permitting I will be at the parade. Well, I am headed out to run some errands and get dressed to head to Sullivan's for some fun time with some great friends ?
What's going on random with you ?
Got a chance to check out a new wine spot last week. Max's Wine Dive. The wine was great and the food looked really good, but I had already eaten so I didn't get a chance to sample. My group was standing at the end of the bar, near the entrance to the kitchen, so I could see the constant parade of food headed to the tables. I exercised some major discipline and didn't order anything and also limited my wine intake for the evening. The ambiance and the crowd were cool to so I most definitely will be back.
Happy Founder's Day to my beautiful, intelligent, and talented Sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I was looking through some pledge pictures of me and my line sisters last night and cannot believe how unbelievably skinny I was in college. I would not want to be that skinny again..... but dropping 15-20 lbs. would be good for this year ! LOL
I have a friend who is from Haiti who I actually met online several years ago. Please pray for his family during this challenging time. I spoke with him by phone yesterday and he seems OK but I could not imagine how to deal with so much uncertainty. It seems that financial donations are the best means of helping at the moment.
Tomorrow morning is the Houston Marathon, wish I had stayed committed, like I planned and I wouldn't be talking about dropping lbs :( ! I was looking over my finisher medals from the 4 Half-Marathons that I have completed & had really wanted to be able to run the full by the time I was 40, but my knees have just said no way. I am going to watch it on TV in the morning and then get on the bike for ride. The good thing is that one of my friends has signed me up for another 20 mile bike ride in March and a couple of road races ( 5K & 10K) so I am trying to get prepared & motivated to meet some fitness goals.
Speaking of, so far this year I have been focused on cooking and eating out less. I was doing pretty good the first 10 days or so, but then worked kicked in hard the second week and I have been putting in some very long hours & it's just so convenient to grab something when you are tired. Sometimes meal planning seems like work and I procrastinate & then end up just back to the same. I will try again this weekend to do my shopping and planning & just be better.
I have been getting some of the funniest emails from internet dating sites that I subscribe to.
I think I may save some of them for blog fodder as opposed to deleting them like I usually do.
I haven't really been actively searching but just read the messages that I get a couple times a week. It's funny, since that little age box clicked over to 40 on my profile, all the the 55+ think they have a shot ! LOL
My plans for the lovely weekend include girls night tonight, grocery shopping, meal planning and my date with Denzel Washington on Saturday ! LOL ,then Sunday, watch a bit of the Marathon on TV, put some miles on the bike, head to church, cook dinner & chill. Monday is MLK Day, so weather permitting I will be at the parade. Well, I am headed out to run some errands and get dressed to head to Sullivan's for some fun time with some great friends ?
What's going on random with you ?
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010 Here We Go !
"Twenty Ten", wow, that sounds really strange to say. A true reminder of just how much time has passed. With all the reflective blogging floating around, it's obvious that the last 10 years have been challenging for many, many people. Since I was born in 1969, each new decade marks a milestone birthday for me, 20, ...30,...40. I have thought about the trials and tribulations of the last 10 years of my life and realize just how unpredictable life can be. I remember back then being so excited to be 30 and finally feeling really grown ! I had just moved away from my family a couple of years prior & me and my ex-husband were getting settled into our independent life in Texas, making great friends, buying a beautiful new home, saving lots of money, being very active in ministry and building on the foundation on which we were raised. Careers were flourishing & I thought I had so much to look forward to, our future was so bright. I was blessed beyond measure. I had no idea that I would soon face infertility, separation due to career moves, emotional turmoil, adultery, divorce, financial ruin, and clinical depression. Many a day I would wake up in utter amazement that my life had unraveled so easily and completely. I remember being so hurt and angry at God, feeling sorry for myself, feeling like I did not deserve all that had happened to me and not sure how to resolve those feelings. Insecurity, shame, and fear ruled my life every day, for a very long time. I can honestly say there were too many days when I hurt so deeply and so completely that I really thought it would be better for me to leave this earth....just to make the pain stop ! I am blessed to have found the strength to make it through. So blessed that He never left me, even if I thought He had. He sent angels in the form of people to touch my life. Dear friends and family that stepped up in the defining moments of my life. It is very hard for me to give my testimony without tears falling, because reflection takes me back and I remember how I felt, it is a painful reminder, but I don't ever, ever want to forget. It keeps me grounded. It keeps me from harsh judgment. It keeps me humble. It is my story.
The transition has been far from easy, in fact it has been the most challenging period of my life, but with Him I have faith and unshakable belief. I tried it without Him because I was angry and felt cheated somehow. What a joke ! LOL Through all the false starts, and failures of my own judgment, He got me right where he needed me to be, submitting to His will, not mine. I can't say there are not days when I sometimes long for what I thought was my life in the past. Sometimes someone says something or asks a question that sets me back, but I know that I cannot move forward while looking backward. My Great-Grandmother used to always say " Get the lesson Baby". It's funny how you hear the things older, wiser people have said to you, over and over again, never really getting it, and then one day, it hits you like an epiphany. I am reluctant to make resolutions this year, I guess primarily because I am finally just resolute period, to spend EACH DAY being the best me that I can be. I want to be a better daughter, better sister, better aunt, better cousin, better friend, better co-worker and just a better Christian period. None of that requires that I lose weight, or save money, or any of the other many resolutions people make and then break every year. This last decade has been a huge learning curve for me and I pledge to use all that I have learned to move into this next decade stronger, wiser, and of course better than I have been.
I spent NYE by myself again this year. Another failed relationship, that barely even got started. I was only slightly disappointed though, which I know is a sign of growth. I trust His will be done. He continues to save me from danger and trouble unseen by me. At the end of the day, I was in church, where I promised myself I would be this year, after last years fiasco. It was a truly blessed experienced. Israel & New Breed performed and Pastor West had a word just for me ! I am counting my blessings this morning and don't have enough fingers and toes to do it. I have no idea what the next 10 years will bring but everywhere I look in my life, I see His hands and that is all the comfort that I need. I don't know if I will ever have children of my own, but I know I have children in my life that love me unconditionally. I am not sure if I will ever be a wife again, but God has protected me and covered me and provided for me better than any man ever could. I don't know if I will ever find the companion that I desire, but I do have friends that cut for me and support me through the struggles and the joys. We share life and enjoy one another and make the most of everything we are blessed with. I have good health and a sound mind. I can smile. I can sleep. I can work. I can pray. I can think and communicate and share myself with the world. I can worship. I have a home. I can travel. I can experience life and all that it offers. I recognize I don't deserve any of this. I can't earn it. I don't take it for granted.
I am excited about the new year, another chance to get it right !
Wishing you Peace & Blessings in 2010 ! Thanks for stopping by !
What are your reflections as we make the big transition ?
The transition has been far from easy, in fact it has been the most challenging period of my life, but with Him I have faith and unshakable belief. I tried it without Him because I was angry and felt cheated somehow. What a joke ! LOL Through all the false starts, and failures of my own judgment, He got me right where he needed me to be, submitting to His will, not mine. I can't say there are not days when I sometimes long for what I thought was my life in the past. Sometimes someone says something or asks a question that sets me back, but I know that I cannot move forward while looking backward. My Great-Grandmother used to always say " Get the lesson Baby". It's funny how you hear the things older, wiser people have said to you, over and over again, never really getting it, and then one day, it hits you like an epiphany. I am reluctant to make resolutions this year, I guess primarily because I am finally just resolute period, to spend EACH DAY being the best me that I can be. I want to be a better daughter, better sister, better aunt, better cousin, better friend, better co-worker and just a better Christian period. None of that requires that I lose weight, or save money, or any of the other many resolutions people make and then break every year. This last decade has been a huge learning curve for me and I pledge to use all that I have learned to move into this next decade stronger, wiser, and of course better than I have been.
I spent NYE by myself again this year. Another failed relationship, that barely even got started. I was only slightly disappointed though, which I know is a sign of growth. I trust His will be done. He continues to save me from danger and trouble unseen by me. At the end of the day, I was in church, where I promised myself I would be this year, after last years fiasco. It was a truly blessed experienced. Israel & New Breed performed and Pastor West had a word just for me ! I am counting my blessings this morning and don't have enough fingers and toes to do it. I have no idea what the next 10 years will bring but everywhere I look in my life, I see His hands and that is all the comfort that I need. I don't know if I will ever have children of my own, but I know I have children in my life that love me unconditionally. I am not sure if I will ever be a wife again, but God has protected me and covered me and provided for me better than any man ever could. I don't know if I will ever find the companion that I desire, but I do have friends that cut for me and support me through the struggles and the joys. We share life and enjoy one another and make the most of everything we are blessed with. I have good health and a sound mind. I can smile. I can sleep. I can work. I can pray. I can think and communicate and share myself with the world. I can worship. I have a home. I can travel. I can experience life and all that it offers. I recognize I don't deserve any of this. I can't earn it. I don't take it for granted.
I am excited about the new year, another chance to get it right !
Wishing you Peace & Blessings in 2010 ! Thanks for stopping by !
What are your reflections as we make the big transition ?
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