It's been a minute since I have been here and I have had my hands full dealing with LIFE. Not that it's anything that many others aren't also dealing with. As they say, "there is nothing new under the sun". Sometimes though, when things happen, you just have to be still and listen. That's what I have been doing while I was away. My company dropped the bomb a couple of weeks ago. They have their "corporate speak" and are calling this a "Migration" but we all know that it means downsize/layoff/reorganization since so many people aren't mobile to the city they are migrating us to for various reasons. I am truly not interested in relocating there either, as I have gotten settled into Houston, really like the city, and have managed to finally find love here. There is a good chance I will not have to move, due to the specific nature of what I do, but there is no guarantee as ALL departments are being looked at & possibly redesigned. If push comes to shove, I may have to go for a short time, but it will be with an exit strategy for sure to get to a city I really want to be in.
Honestly, I haven't been nearly as upset as the majority of my co-workers & I think that's because I already had my life turned upside down just a few years back & although it took me quite some time to recover, transition and land on my feet, I gained some perspective I never would have had without those life changing situations. If you are a new reader/lurker, it is pretty much summarized in a nutshell here. Even still, that does not make me immune to the feelings of my peers. People are having a HARD time with this. There have been many tears (openly), depression has set in and morale is horrible. The energy is just bringing me down, even though I feel confident that it will be okay. I really dread going into the office on the rare occasions that I have to, because it can be so draining. On my own, I am cool, but seeing others so hurt is hard. Barrista posted something on her blog today, which summed up the way I feel, but having her say it, made me feel all the more better:
This will be my 3rd time going through a layoff (2 mergers and a downsizing) and all have taken me to bigger and better things. I also know that every single thing works out in the end the way it’s supposed to and there’s nothing to be gained in stressing something you can’t change. Aight?
I can be honest an express that one of the things that I have been contemplating is how this situation may impact my relationship with Mr. Mixologist. This is still somewhat new. Oh, he has definitely gone out of his way to really assure me of his commitment to this relationship and has been very supportive, encouraging and open to the whole situation, which has been a great feeling. Honestly, I was enjoying the ride we have been on, coasting along at our own leisurely pace and this situation has just added unwanted pressure ( in my mind). I mean, I just want this relationship to evolve organically into what it is supposed to be. I have prayed about it and am doing my best not to over think it, and just know that it is going to be what it is going to be. Trust God and let it go.
In the midst of all of this work stuff, on the family side of things, my mom has been recently expressing some worry about my Dad's health, specifically she is having serious concerns that he is having problems remembering things, repeating himself in short time spans, and she is alarmed........ no, correct that, she is scared that this could be really something serious, and one of the most unsettling feelings is hearing the fear in your parent's voice. I feel so helpless being so far away. Me & Mr. Mixologist traveled to where my parents live a couple of weeks ago for my Aunt's 60th Birthday Party. I don't know if it's the power of suggestion or what , but my Dad does seem a little different to me. Just a bit more fragile than the last time I saw him & just not himself at all times. He has a doctor's appointment scheduled for this week and I just hope we can get to the bottom of it.
I had a Manager at work that used to say, "Nothing too good, or too bad, lasts for too long". One of my most favorite Pastor's used to say, " Either you are going through a storm, coming out of a storm or heading towards a storm. " An that just about summarizes life to me. None of us know what crosses we will have to bear in this life or for how long. There is no magical place that you get to, where everything is fine and it seems that if you ever get close to that point, you worry when it will end. I don't say any of this to sound negative & I really hope that it doesn't come across that way, I am just reflecting on things and trying to position myself to respond positively to each situation as it comes. I know that everything is going to work out for my good. That is why I always try to stand in the sun when it's shining on me because I know the clouds will come, but the truth is, they too always part, and the sun comes right back out again !
I count on the Sun to come back out, each and every day. I go to sleep each night and never worry that it's not coming up tomorrow. I don't even give it a second thought. It never crosses my mind, what if the sun doesn't come up tomorrow ? I lay down with the full confidence that He will make the sun rise tomorrow. I don't know how he does and couldn't begin to figure that out for myself, but I trust that it will be. Just as it is with the smaller things in this life. I will put my faith in Him and stand on his word.
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". Hebrews 11:1
How do you handle life's challenges ? Is religious faith part of your life ?
Thoughts ? Questions ? Comments ?