Mothers are Magnificent !

We had a lovely Mother's Day celebration with the family. My generation hosted the event & we prepared all of the food, organized the activities, etc. We had plenty of food. Ribs, Chicken, Sausage, Dirty Rice, Baked Beans, Mac & Cheese, Potato Salad, Garden Salad, Banana Pudding and Strawberry Cake.

What a spread !

The infamous Kiddie Table

When me and my cousins get together it's like a doggone daycare, LOL. We set up a craft table in the garage for the kids to keep them entertained. They made jewelry  and other trinkets as gifts for all of the mothers.

I will wear it always :)

Getting my bracelet put on my wrist that my youngest niece made for me at the craft table.

My oldest niece Savannah helped me out in the back bedroom putting together some fresh flower arrangements for all of the mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. We made 15 of them. She was sooo excited to help me with this & she really did a phenomenal job assisting me. They came out lovely.

Tying on the Ribbon 

Finished Product 

We did a surprise presentation of the flowers to all of the mothers, aunts and grandmothers to the song by Boyz 2 Men, "Mama". We had all of the littlest kids present the flowers to each person.  I know it sounds really cheesy, but they loved it ! And so did the kids :)

Alexandra & her Grandma

Nicholas and his Granny 

The Matriarch in the house

My cousin telling the truth  ! LOL

After presenting them with their flowers and the gifts we bought for them and the gifts the kids made for them, we then had an impromptu session where myself and various cousins stood up before the group to sing our mother's praises and talked about the sacrifices they have made for us and how much we appreciate them for it. By the time we were finished, there was not a dry eye in the house !

I have a friend & fellow blogger TIH who just lost her MIL right before Mother's Day, when I spoke with her in the days before the funeral, she wished us traveling grace and told me to hug my mother extra tight and that is exactly what I did !

You know how they always say at funerals, you should give the flowers to people while they are living ? Well we just want to always take the opportunity to honor our mothers in their presence for as long as we are blessed to have them.

All in all it was a wonderful Mother's Day with the family.


How did you celebrate Mother's Day ?


Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?

Beautifully Complex 

Day 4 My Parents

I am blessed to have a wonderful Mom and Dad who support me in every way. The man that I call Dad is actually my step-father since I was twelve. My biological father and I have a more complicated situation, cause I am not sure I would call it a relationship, but I don't really want to use this post to focus on that, at the present time.


My Mother is my absolute biggest fan. Like most mothers I am sure, she thinks that I can do anything ! She has always been willing to give me her very last if necessary to help me to accomplish my goals and dreams. She gave me the gift of reading from an early age and it was one of the greatest, most beneficial things she has every done. I recall the 3 of us( me, her and my sister) laying in her bed, all of us with a book, reading for hours and hours. I remember her taking me and my sister to the Library very regularly and I remember being super excited to get gift certificates from B Dalton Bookstore at Christmas as if I was getting a highly anticipated toy ! I also was taught by example, a very strong work ethic, as I saw my mother work numerous part-time jobs in addition to her main job to insure that me and my sister could participate in numerous activities and extras. In hindsight, I understand how little we actually had, but my childhood memories, were full of happiness and very rare instances where I felt deprived. Prior to my step-father coming into the picture she did this alone with NO CHILD SUPPORT. She never bothered to ask my biological for anything because she figured he knew where we were & should have had an idea of what we needed. Another gift that she has passed on to me is her cooking and baking skills. I am definitely the domesticated one in my generation of cousins & usually am the one that plans all of the holiday gatherings, family events, menus, preparation, etc. Since she passed the torch to me, I am just taking up where she left off and have learned to enjoy it as much as she always has, especially as I have matured. My Mother discovered late in life that she wanted to be a writer and is actually working on getting her fist romance novel published. She submitted some chapters to a publisher, who expressed interest, so she is really excited about getting it completed. She actually wrote too many words and is actually having to pare it down to meet their requirements. I am extremely proud of her and love her to the ends of the earth. Now as nice and pleasant as she seems, when it comes to discipline, she did not play ! As a child, she did not spare the rod with me AT ALL. But I can honestly say that I deserved every whooping that I got because, at one point I was extremely hard headed, with a very smart mouth. LOL.  I don't have to tell you how my mother's recent health scare shook me. Those moments when you are unsure about what is going to happen in a situation and your mind takes you to the worst place can be very scary. Through God's grace, I am pleased to report she is continually improving  and I am so looking forward to spending Mother's Day with her next week & making wonderful memories. 

My relationship with my Dad has been more of an evolution of sorts. With time and maturity, I had to learn how to handle him and how to appreciate the sacrifices that he made for me growing up. As a child, there are a lot of things you can't really put into perspective, so I know that I contributed in some ways to the challenges that we had but he also had to own up to some questionable deeds on his part. It is hard to come into a ready made family and find your place. It also takes a special kind of man to take care of another man's children, especially when he is not providing for them AT ALL. The blessing is that I have been able to get beyond a lot of misunderstandings from the past between he and I and appreciate his presence in my life. He is a Vietnam Veteran and is also now retired with some pretty serious health challenges that he has faces in recent years. I believe that facing mortality has affected him so much. In fact, he battled depression after some major surgery several years ago, and though he has recovered for the most part,it softened him in many ways. I have learned that if I make sure that my Dad feels like I need him, it makes him feel better, because it makes him feel useful. This seems to be common among many men. In fact, sometimes I ask my Dad things that I already know, just to give him a chance to feel more helpful. LOL This has done wonders for our relationship. He used to be a pretty good mechanic back in the day, but unfortunately was not able to keep up with all of the currently vehicle technology. He is fascinated with weather & I can rest assured that if there is a Hurricane in the Gulf, or if there is flooding in Houston, I will get a call from him within the hour since his TV stays on the Weather Channel ! LOL He is also a very good support for my Mom in many ways, which includes helping her in the kitchen with prep work, etc when she is making trays for someones party, event or something going on at church. He is like her little assistant. He is teased because of his devotion to my mother, because despite maybe one or two men, he really does not have a lot of friends that he socializes with, as he would rather be up under my mother ALL.THE.TIME. Hey, it works for them and if they like it, I love it. Most men are very different, so I have to let new suitors know this, my Dad is a different kind of guy. He is not into Sports AT ALL. He has his quirks and has gotten somewhat cantankerous at times in his old age, but I love him as he is and appreciate the love he shows me the best way he knows how. 




Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?


Beautifully Complex 

Surprise !

My sister and I put our heads together months ago, to try and come up with a gift that we could give our parents for their Anniversary that they could BOTH enjoy. I have to give my lil' sis credit because it was ultimately her idea that we decided to go with. The party was a success. You can read about it here.

We decided at one point that the party would NOT be a surprise since because 30 years is a significant Anniversary, it was not likely that our parents wouldn't assume that we would do SOMETHING for them. With this in mind we let them know we had something planned but kept the details about what and where under wraps. What our parents didn't know was that the party was not our only gift to them. We decided to spruce up their backyard patio, to encourage them to get out of the house and enjoy themselves together. We decided to reveal the gift after the Anniversary event by having  a Dessert & Champagne After-party at their home.

Take a look at what the Patio looked life before :

The smoker, grill & swing have seen better days!

The challenging part was getting our parents out of the house for several hours prior to the Party so that we could clean up the back yard, bring the furniture in and get it set up.  We put my cousin, Mr. Mixologist and my BIL to work that day in the heat,  which was well over 100 Degrees. Uh.....yes we owe them big time ! LOL

Conversation Seating Set

We got them a Conversation Seating Set, a Patio Table with 6 chairs an Umbrella and a new Gas Grille ! We had all of the furniture shipped to our Uncle's Carpet Store about a month before. On the day of the surprise, me and my sister went shopping for the plants, plant holders, pillows, grill utensils and candles while the guys put the furniture together.

Patio Table and Umbrella

My favorite cousin put the grill together in advance, used his truck to bring the furniture from his dad's store and was an all around lifesaver on this day. We had to get all this done & set up & get ourselves ready for the Party later that evening & it was no simple feat but we made it happen.

New Grille & my Beau taking a break from the heat!

By the time the party was over, and everyone arrived at my parent's home for dessert, champagne, wine and beer it was beginning to get dark so we had to hustle to get my parents outside so we could surprise them with their gift. Honestly, they were already overwhelmed and excited about the party since they had no idea who would be there and where it was. They were excited about seeing a lot of folks they had not seen in forever. Also, they had no idea that most of the guests were leaving the venue & coming to their home afterward. After giving toasts in the living room & some laughs,  we let them know we had one last thing to give them and led them to the backyard......

Dad coming out for the surprise.

They were so surprised ! BOTH my mom & dad shed tears ! LOL It was funny, and touching, and such a wonderful feeling to surprise them and please them. We pulled it off and we were so happy !

My dad broke down too :)

Mom overwhelmed with tears 

Our guests stayed for a couple of hours enjoying the new digs. Me and my sister kept this a secret from virtually all of our family. It was on need to know basis only, so no one would spoil the surprise, so my extended family was also pretty excited for my parents and and surprised at the big reveal.

Dad & Savannah enjoying Breakfast

The next morning, we promptly broke the furniture in even further, by having breakfast on the Patio. We did the cooking & let my Mom take a break. My parents enjoyed this a lot.

My nieces & my Beau polish off some grits ! 

In fact, we stayed out there for most of the morning until it started getting too warm & we had to retreat into the AC ! My parents are really looking forward to the fall (cooler temperatures) and are already planning additional things they can add outside to make their space more enjoyable. They have been calling us both several times a week to let us know how much they are enjoying themselves and in fact my mom is planning a Labor Day Cookout ! LOL Mission accomplished.


Thoughts ? Comments ? Questions ?


Beautifully Complex

My Parents

I am blessed to have a wonderful Mom and Dad who support me in every way. The man that I call Dad is actually my step-father since I was twelve. My biological father and I have a more complicated situation, cause I am not sure I would call it a relationship, but I don't really want to use this post to focus on that, at the present time.


My Mother is my absolute biggest fan. Like most mothers I am sure, she thinks that I can do anything ! She has always been willing to give me her very last if necessary to help me to accomplish my goals and dreams. She gave me the gift of reading from an early age and it was one of the greatest, most beneficial things she has every done. I recall the 3 of us( me, her and my sister) laying in her bed, all of us with a book, reading for hours and hours. I remember her taking me and my sister to the Library very regularly and I remember being super excited to get gift certificates from B Dalton Bookstore at Christmas as if I was getting a highly anticipated toy ! I also was taught by example, a very strong work ethic, as I saw my mother work numerous part-time jobs in addition to her main job to insure that me and my sister could participate in numerous activities and extras. In hindsight, I understand how little we actually had, but my childhood memories, were full of happiness and very rare instances where I felt deprived. Prior to my step-father coming into the picture she did this alone with NO CHILD SUPPORT. She never bothered to ask my biological for anything because she figured he knew where we were & should have had an idea of what we needed. Another gift that she has passed on to me is her cooking and baking skills. I am definitely the domesticated one in my generation of cousins & usually am the one that plans all of the holiday gatherings, family events, menus, preparation, etc. Since she passed the torch to me, I am just taking up where she left off and have learned to enjoy it as much as she always has, especially as I have matured. My Mother discovered late in life that she wanted to be a writer and is actually working on getting her fist romance novel published. She submitted some chapters to a publisher, who expressed interest, so she is really excited about getting it completed. She actually wrote too many words and is actually having to pare it down to meet their requirements. I am extremely proud of her and love her to the ends of the earth. Now as nice and pleasant as she seems, when it comes to discipline, she did not play ! As a child, she did not spare the rod with me AT ALL. But I can honestly say that I deserved every whooping that I got because, at one point I was extremely hard headed, with a very smart mouth. LOL.

My relationship with my Dad has been more of an evolution of sorts. With time and maturity, I had to learn how to handle him and how to appreciate the sacrifices that he made for me growing up. As a child, there are alot of things you can't really put into perspective, so I know that I contributed in some ways to the challenges that we had but he also had to own up to some questionable deeds on his part. It is hard to come into a ready made family and find your place. It also takes a special kind of man to take care of another man's children, especially when he is not providing for them AT ALL. The blessing is that I have been able to get beyond alot of misunderstandings from the past between he and I and appreciate his presence in my life. He is a Vietnam Veteran and is also now retired with some pretty serious health challenges that he has faces in recent years. I believe that facing mortality has affected him so much. In fact, he battled depression after some major surgery several years ago, and though he has recovered for the most part,it softened him in many ways. I have learned that if I make sure that my Dad feels like I need him, it makes him feel better, because it makes him feel useful. This seems to be common amoung many men. In fact, sometimes I ask my Dad things that I already know, just to give him a chance to feel more helpful. LOL This has done wonders for our relationship. He used to be a pretty good mechanic back in the day, but unfortunately was not able to keep up with all of the currently vehicle technology. He is fascinated with weather & I can rest assurred that if there is a Hurricane in the Gulf, or if there is flooding in Houston, I will get a call from him within the hour since his TV stays on the Weather Channel ! LOL He is also a very good support for my Mom in many ways, which includes helping her in the kitchen with prep work, etc when she is making trays for someones party, event or something going on at church. He is like her little assistant. He is teased because of his devotion to my mother, because despite maybe one or two men, he really does not have alot of friends that he socializes with, as he would rather be up under my mother ALL.THE.TIME. Hey, it works for them and if they like it, I love it. Most men are very different, so I have to let new suitors know this, my Dad is a different kind of guy. He is not into Sports AT ALL. But I love him as he is and appreciate the love he shows me. In fact, last weekend Mr. Mixologist travelled home with me and met my parents for the first time. When it was time for us to hit the road and they walked us out to the car, my Dad actually shed tears, which then made me get misty. Mr Mixologist was speechless because he didn't expect it. It doesn't always happen but in the last couple of years my Dad has really become a more emotional person.

Comments ?

Observations ?

Questions ?

S.ex and the Kiddies

Over the last week or so Op.rah has had a couple of shows with Dr. La.ura Be.rman discussing how parents should be talking to their kids about sex. It's interesting how strongly and differently some parents feel about this subject. It's the age old argument about whether or not a parent is condoning the act or not when they provide their kids with information and/or access to protection from disease or pregnancy. I think the big issue is that some parents are just not really ready to address these issues with younger (pre-teens) as if they are exposing them to new information that will encourage their behavior. Many parents, in my opinion, seem hugely uninformed about what some of the youngest of kids are really talking about with their friends. I know its a sign of getting older when you start to recall the past as being so much more different( i.e better) than the situation today, but I truly believe with the internet, you tube, se.xting, etc, at their fingertips, these kids have way more opportunites to get exposed to alot well before they should have to lose their innocence. Even if you are a parent that limits your childs exposure to such, you can't insulate them from their friends, and the hours upon hours that they spend at school with their friends & thus getting information from their friends about s.ex. I'm on the team of "more information is better" school of thought. I know that children are precious, and we all love that innocence that kids possess, but the reality is that life is complicated. Kids are going to be naturally curious about taboo subjects, especially if they sense that parents are reluctant to discuss things with them. I think keeping it a mystery to them, makes it that much more intriguing. My mother was pretty open with me & I was a very inquisitive child. I do recall her seeming embarrassed and uncomfortable about some of my questions, which is only natural, but I do remember her allowing me to ask her whatever question I wanted & this built alot of trust between us over time. I read a lot as a child which is how I obtained alot of information but sometimes I needed her to fill in the gaps. She tells this story all the time about one day when I was about 13 or 14 years old, sitting in the kitchen with her and my grandmother. I actually remember this too. I could usually tell when my mother was in the right mindframe and mood to approach her about certain subjects. My grandmother was telling my mother, " go ahead, answer the child's questions, she needs to learn everything from you and not in the streets". So my mother was like, "Ok what is it ? what else do you want to know ?". So I looked them both square in the eye and said " OK, so I've been reading about this and I just don't really understand, what is an Or.gasm ?" LOL! My grandmother spit out her orange juice ! My mom's mouth just fell open for a moment & then they both just burst out laughing! My mother was saying " see Mama I told you this child can come up with some questions !" My grandmother was outdone ! After they collected themselves, they were able to explain it to me in a way that I could somewhat understand it. Although it is definitely awkward, I think its important to have these discussions as early as is needed because kids of all ages are being exposed to misinformation and confusion is being spread from their peers.
What age is appropriate to open the discussions with kids ?

What do you think about how parents should approach the subject of s.ex with their children ?

Were your parents or other relatives open with you about it ?

How/where did you learn what you needed to know ?